transgenderfriends.com

I seem to have been doing ad-hoc reviews for some tg website the last couple of posts so I thought I'd do another one today. Just to come clean, I must confess that the reason I have been joining so many personal sits of late is to get a link to my blog out there (is that bad?) but it is an interesting experience.

Earlier this week I was looking at Gaydar, probably one of the most well known personal sites for people with alternative sexualities. These sites (because there are two different sites for guys and girls) are great. They're colourful, bold and have a great range of people. While they're are bonus features for members there is still a great amount accessible to free users.

The major problem however, from my perspective, is that it isn't very tgirl friendly. On both sites you only have the option of listing yourself as a woman or as a man and not the other or anything in between. I can understand that, because they probably don't want "bi guys" mailing bisexual woman who are on the site looking for other woman or visa versa. I totally understand why this has been done. However, it does mean that transgendered girls miss out on this wonderful main stream community and are often relegate sadly to fetish sites. It was the search for a main stream tg site that led me to transgenderfriends.com.

Now the blurb on the front page starts out well, telling us that this is a site for "transsexual personals, transvestites dating, transgenders and shemale." before further down asking "Do you wish to meet up with a transvestite, transexuals or shemales? We offer a full range of features that will make your search a pleasure?" This is where I think the site gets a bit confused as to what it's trying to be. Is it a site for tgs to find other tgs or for admirers to go tranny chasing?

Now I apologise to anyone associated with the site if this condemnation seems a bit harsh, but I will explain what informed this question. After a very commendable section of the front page about 'Who are Transvestites and Shemales' (again I'll avoid semantics here)There is a 'Search now!' option.

The options it gives you are I am/we are then male or cd/tv/ts. Now I don't mean here that there are four options. I mean that you can either say you are male, or you can say you are cd/tv/ts.

Now firstly that is quite a range clumped together there. I still do not know the difference between cd and tv but I know they are different to ts. It would be better having separate options for cd and tv (someone who dresses for fun), transgender (someone who sees themselves as being more female) and transsexual (someone who is diagnosed or in some process of grs). Not only would this give a distinction between different kinds of people using the site but would allow people to specify what they are looking for or how they describe themselves.

And the second problem with the "I am" button is there are no woman.

Now it is true that there are many more men looking for tgs then woman but they're are females out there and there are many tgs looking for woman. I also know from my experience on sites such as tvchix that many post-ops prefer to term themselves as 'women' and would not appreciate being defined as a cd/tv/ts when they have a vagina.

It raises the question; who is this website for?

More insight is given if you do join as the first page you get is a lady who looks suspiciously like a drag queen (feather boa, big hair, ball gown) saying "Come inside and share your darkest desires."

Once again I would like to congratulate the site for trying to impart understanding about transgendered people on its first page but this is one step forward, two steps back almost. Now for some people dressing and admiring is a sexy forbidden pleasure, however for many this is a stereotype that they wish to avoid. Now, is this site promoting itself as a fetish site, an adult site or a transgendered personal site? I really think the people running it need to decide one way or another because they're are some very confused signal.

Now I understand that the makers are probably trying to appeal to a broad church, get in the admirers, get in the fetishist and get in one or two transsexuals but I think it is possible to do this without resorting to the lowest common denominator.
My advice would be this, firstly to open up the options to differentiate between cd, tg and ts, throw some women in there as well as men and then you are truly opening up your audience. Now I know that many men find the thought of going with a t-girl homoerotic and that many people get turned on by dressing up and acting like a slut, but I feel these people will come to your site anyway without you having to specifically target them.

I do not wish to knock this site or see it taken down. It looks very nice (although I think they should have some more free options such as being able to see full sized pictures at least as a free user and not just thumb nails) and the UK's tg community needs sites like this however aim high, aim for the classy market and see what comes. I bet you membership will increase tenfold if you can get a good following of classy tg's to join up because frankly I'm afraid, at the moment I can see why some people may be put off.

Gaydar: Guys Vs Girl

Seems like a lot more guys use gaydar then girls. Had a quick look to see whose online in the manchester area. girls = 62, guys = 1156. Wow! So are more guys on the site in general? Are guys more open with their sexuality? Or are guys more likely to look for people online? Interesting.

Gaydar

One of the most popular personal sites for people of an alternative sexual pursuasion is Gaydar, a same sex personal site. I think I've had a profile on there before but it's been a while so I thought I'd make a new one now that I'm back in the UK. As well as the regualar Gaydar site for gay men there is also Gaydargirls which is aimed for gay women. There is no gaydartg as of yet however so I decided to join both.

I'm not sure what gay men would think of somone dressing like a girl posting on their site, or if gay women would have any problems with a boi in a dress appearing on theirs, but if they're were any problems I have yet to hear of it. And really, if you don't like my profile no one has to write me. I think for the most part though people won't mind.

It does lead me to thinking however what it is I'm looking for in a partner. I think the most fundamental thing, even before we start talking about the sex or gender, is that the person accepts me as who I am. I would love to be in the position to be in a loving relationship especially if I know that being transgendered was not only something accepted but desired even. Despite what my mum thinks (who feels tgs are something people either poke fun at or beat up) I think they're are people out they're who like the different attrabutes that a transgendered woman can bring to a relationship.

I don't like being steriotyped and try not to do the same to others, so its important to acknowlage that they're are as much range in men and woman as there are in transgendered people, but I do belive that they're are people out there who are more attracted to tg's the less. It would be nice to find a bf or gf from these sites but I'm equally happy to make more friends.

Indulgence

I feel very lucky that there is such a good munch going on in my town. I'm not quite sure what I would do with myself if I didn't have this outlet readily available. As well as a chance to get out, sit in a pub and talk about kink; it is sometimes the one oppertunity I have a month to get out dressed. I was very happy to hear then that not only did I have a munch to go to this month, but also that there would be a club night taking place in the same bar for me to go to.

This was infact the third or fouth kinky club night that had been organised by the nice people from the local munch, but my overseas galavanting of the last year has meant that I unfortunatly missed the previous ones. So this was my chance to see how things panned out in my own little berg.

I must admit that I am not especially experienced when it comes to organised club nights. I had been to a few t-focused ones, one in Leeds and BNO down in MK; and to a couple that were more kinky such as Lash and the club night after BBB. I think these are often smaller scale events where people come for the night as opposed to just a drink like you would get from a regular bar. Compared to these limited experience the night stood up very favorable.

I'm not sure what the final head count was but there was excess of thirty people when I arrived, most of which I didn't know. There was still a good number of the munch crowed however that I felt like I knew the majority of people. The club, like the munch, takes place in the first floor of one of the local bars, an old building with charecter (which i like) but sadly needs some work to keeping out the freezing cold! The main area is devided into three sections by wooden partitions, the central area being used for seating and the two side wings were filled with an assortment of bondage apparatus kindly brought from Nemesis in Manchester.

The aparatus however wasn't getting much use, I guess you need to have a certain amount of confidence and know a few people to strap yourself into a set of stocks and present your behind. Still, there organisers had thought of everything it seemed.

Forms were handed out to put forward yourself into the slave auction. I am not sure if funds were being raised for charity to cover event cost/ provide goodies for the future, i'll have to ask. Its an interesting idea but one I'm not necessarily sure about as it seems to me Dom/mes are more likely to bid then subbies meaning half of the people there were almost expected to pay while the other half where less likely. I certainly didn't put any bids in although I did fill out a form.

I'm not sure how much I went for or if there were more then one bid put in for me. Everyone was 'sold' it seemed which certainly implies that perhaps sympathy bids existed. I know that the lady who ended up 'winning' me certainly bidded for three other people. Still, it took nothing away from my enjoyment as I was led to the stocks and told to strip to my panties.

The Mistress took out a violet want and used a number of seperat attachement to tease my body. I wasn't sure how to react however as actually it just felt quite nice for the most part. The only exception being when she ran it over my nipple with just make me squirm a little bit. Later I saw her using it on somone else who was wriggling all over the place. Not sure if that means I have a higher pain threshold or just that the Mistress had found a higher setting on the dial.

The evening, and in fact the whole day (which was the same day as the pony play meet) seemed to go very quickly sadly unfortunatly and I wish I had had the oppertunity to talk to a few more people (and indeed try out a few more of the toys) but it was very enjoyable catching up with alot of people and I look forward to the next event.

Twitter

As an aspiring blogger i figured i should probably see about starting up a twitter feed. Sure, probably no one cares but what else am i meant to do with my rainey afternoons? For those clambering to follow me my new id is AimeChanTG.

The future starts now!

TINT: cross-dressing vs transvestite

I decided to sign up for one of the more well known tg sites today. Tranny International, or TINT seems to have a bit of a following online so I thought I'd join to see what I'd make of it. Unfortunately I got stuck in the middle of the application process.

Now I know my own name and, at a pinch, I can describe myself, but the next part really threw me. The text "I am" is followed by a pull down bar with the options: Cross Dresser, Transsexual, Transvestite, Woman, Man, Couple. Hmmm tricky...

One day I'll get around to writing my thesis in full regarding my opinions on gender (to cut a long story short I don't believe it exists and if it does then it's based on little more than semantics) however it was the Cross-Dresser Vs Transvestite option that threw me here.

Ok, so a cross dresser is someone who crossed clothes right? A boy who dresses like a girl or a girl like a boy. Where as a *transvestite* is someone who 'trans' (crosses) 'vestites' (clothes). You know, i think I'll just tick the boy box!

Interestingly I've just noticed another tg site, tvchix, has just change their pigeon hole options. Previously they had had blue tags for male/female admirers, orange tags for transsexuals and pink tags for pretty much everyone else. (CD, TV or t-somethings). I had always been a bit envious of those orange tags but felt I couldn't switch over until I was living full time.

However I noticed more and more organge tags appearing of late, some from people who certainly didn't look transsexual. After closer investigation I noticed that the self-definition options had been change. Now as well as pulling male, female, couple or intersexed you can choose from a range of complimentary options including the traditional TV, CD, pre-op and post-op as well as the new t-girl and transgender.

Now I have as much idea about the distinction between t-girl and transgender as I do about TV and TG but it is nice that there are a few more options. Personally I tend to try and avoid defining myself but understand why sites feel they need to. To me t-girl or transgender seem to be the loosest definition and more obviously be taken to mean a number of things which is why I choose them if they are options.

I guess the point of all this is that if you want to know more about me ask me as there are so many different views on what these tag means that we would probably be having different views anyway.

Pony Play Day

For those who have delved the depths of my blog previously you'll know that I have quite a kink for pony play. I actually like a range of pet play however the equine version of this often seems the easiest to partake. I am unsure about what it is specifically that I enjoy about this form of play but certainly the dehumanizing aspect of being talked down to and controlled coupled with cute outfits and the occasional incorporation of elements of bondage tick a lot of my boxes

The site is a wonderful eighteenth century barn that has been lovingly converted into a delightfully deviant den. Dark beams straddle the antique ceiling and provide alcoves and support for all manner of devices and toys. This pony play event was very different to the last one I had attended as it was held in a small grassed area at the back of the barn as opposed to a covered factory space like that previous event. (see older blogs

I had developed an outfit for the event and I promise I will try and get a photo as soon as I am able (I am conscious that there is a lack of visuals in my most recent posts and will work to address this). An admirer had kindly bought me a pvc mini dress recently and considering I had lost some weight while I was away I decided I would risk something skin tight for once.

One of the problems of tight outfits however is that they do not leave much to imagination and as I am still technically male I lack the curves in the right places (and one or two bumps in the wrong). To redress this problem I slipped on a swimsuit underneath which not only helped with the tucking but also gave me more support in slipping a pair of false boobs (chicken fillets) into the top of my dress. Normally I avoid using these (especially as I find flat chested girls are hot) but I felt that their inclusion gave me a more acceptable female figure. I also added a pair of tights underneath all of that to aid in tucking a modesty and a some pvc boots that I had picked up for £20 from the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar (BBB) the previous week.

Sadly there was not as many people as we all had hoped and I think a number of people had said they were going to come and then decided not to (most rude). However the people who were there more than made up for the lack of the others. As well as the couple who run their barn and their daughter there were two other ponies (one boy pony and one tv) an experienced pony training Mistress from somewhere in Yorkshire I believe, and a couple who had come all the way down from Scotland. The slave was a dogboy and I doubt there can be many more complete dog slaves anywhere in the world.

The Mistress from up north has a lot of pony training experience although sadly her own pony wasn't able to come as they're had been some issue at the last moment. This however did mean that I was very privileged to have her attention for much of the day. We spent some time in the back field doing dressage. I had a basic knowledge from previous pony play but with her help I was able to develop my techniques as well as learn a few new things. We practiced walking (walking with knees high) two kinds of trotting and also cross stepping which was new to me. I loved every moment. Pony’s are so pretty and I tried to be as graceful as I could

The idea had been to have a competition with different events and rosettes for the winners but due to the low turnout and the sweltering heat we never got that far. It was nice nonetheless to get in the pony mind set, a level which was aided by the presence of a bit in my mouth for period of play. I don't think I spoke again for the whole day until the Mistress sadly had to leave and I decided that it would be rude not to say goodbye and to thank her for her training and grooming.

At the end my friend debs (a.k.a cutie) turned up. She is a gorgeous puppy girl with the most amazing outfit. Sadly she was in regular mode today as she was working until later in the day but it was wonderful to see her for the first time since I got back to the UK. She was telling me however that she was going to be a demo bunny at one of the upcoming BBBs where the focus was going to be on pet play. I'll have to make sure I go to that one! I wonder if they needs and demo ponies