Sub-Space

Well my hopes to bring my blog up to date in one quick stroke didn't seem to work so I'd better make as least one more (if not two more) posts before even more exciting things happen!

So after attending a big t-gurl event in February and the local Munch the week after I decided I wanted to go to BDSM event and see if I could explore things further. I'd heard a few people mention Club Lash, a fetish event that takes place once a month in Manchester.


I asked around if anyone for the local munch were thinking of going, a couple were and six very kindly offered to make a weekend of it and share a room with me. So on the Friday we hopped on a train and spent the afternoon doing one of my favorite things....shopping!

The theme for the even was Carnival and six decided that we were to have themed outfits. She would wear a black and purple ensamble and I would go for one in pink and black, which of course, matched perfectly with my collar :)

A number of hours later and beset by sore feet we made it made it back to our hotel room and have the luxury of a little over an hour to get ready before we met some others at a bar -supposedly- nearby.

Well here is my outfit more or less. I normally have to take a dozen photos before I get a good one and unfortunately we didn't have time to take that many. But at least you see that I'm not always the svelte seductress that I sometimes appear in my immaculately staged pictures.

Before going to the club we had to meet a few friends, and so, for the first time I ventured out dressed in public. Thankfully it was dark and considering the side of Manchester we were on no one seemed to look to closely at me. Anyway, I was more than happy to walk down the road although given my lack of heel-walking experience I wish the bar had been closer. Not to mention somewhat nicer....but anyway, this isn't a bar review and the important thing is that we made it to the club.

I always find it helps to not allow your expectations to get too carried away, and although the place was really nice and I had a great time it wasn't the nocturnal debauch fest that I might have been forgiven for expecting. There was a small bar area, a decent sized dance floor, a couple of corridors, and then of course the dungeon. All together it was more than enough to keep me entertained. *grins*

I also a knew a few other people who were going there, so I felt I knew enough people there that I wasn't standing in a corner by myself. Not that that would have ever happened with six with me of course. I was still quite shy though and so didn't really approach anyone that I didn't already know. Something to work on next time perhaps. One of the people who I knew there was Rachel who, if you've read some of my previous blogs you will know, I had played a bit with previously...more on that later though...

After having a few double voddies and coke my confidence appeared to creep up a little and when someone observed that it was a pity my collar did not have a leash I promptly pulled one out of my purse which I had been saving for such an occasion...

The next hour or two seemed to get a little blurred. With different people holding my leash I felt myself grow increasingly submissive and suggestible. I say it was down to the leash but perhaps the voddies and coke helped also. Then somehow I ended up being flogged for, what I'm told, was around an hour.

I remember little of it save someone taking me by my leash and leading me to a wall, sticking my ass out and moving it to the music. There was the repetitive feeling of a flogger hitting me although I don't think I was ever in any real pain, and the occasional intercession by six as she checked if I was alright.

I hope that Rachel enjoyed herself as much as I did. Everything seemed to evaporate into a blissful state that six calls "sub space". Apparently its quite a common experience for submissive's and certainly seems to be one of the perks of the position. The only worrying thing perhaps is that while I was in that state I think I would have allowed anyone to do almost anything to me. Very strange but not the less enjoyable.

The Rest of the Story

Ok, so I felt a bit of a tease the other day by starting to tell you all about my visit to see Rachel. But I did feel that the blog was getting a bit long and I like to keep these posts short and pithy so as not to bore you all to death. So where did I get up to...

I'd managed to navigate myself past the hazardous school kids, slipped on my wig and found my way to Rachel's door. To be honest I hadn't given too much thought to this moment over the last 24 hours. I think part of the reason I suggested meeting up with such short notice is that I knew if we planned to meet the next week or later that we both might have second thoughts or something else might have come up. This way I had no chance to back out as I knocked on the door.

I'd spoken to Rachel on the phone and seen her on web cam before we met and both helped to make me feel reassured. When she opened the door I knew I'd made the right choice to meet. Rachel was older then me but she had a very sexy and classy look and defiantly knew how to put an outfit together. She invited me in, and being a good English host, offered me a cup of tea.

We sat in her front room and chatted for a while. I was still in my andro outfit -boi jean and jacket with a girl tee and bra on under- and so soon switched to my new dress. It was the first chance I'd gotten to wear it properly. I've put a picture up so that you can see. It's a very pretty classy dress i think although a little figure hugging. That's fine of course if you have a nice figure but mine needs a little bit of work.

I did feel a little over dressed and so I changed into something a little more natural, my girl tee with a blue denim skirt. I looked similar to how I looked in this picture. Unfortunately I didn't have room to take my camera in my bag and I felt it would have been a little rude to have asked Rachel to take some pictures of me, so all pics here were taken after the event.

Before we met I had told Rachel a bit about my sub side and she had admitted to having a Domme side. So after chatting for a little while she suggested that maybe we could play for a little bit. My heart nearly skipped a beat as although I have long dreamed of participating in some D/s play I had never had the opportunity to try anything in real life.

Rachel took me through to her back room and instructed me to kneel down facing the corner. This I did while she disappeared out of the room. The sensation of kneeling felt good to me and I enjoyed holding a submissive position with my hands on the back of my head. After a few minutes Rachel returned, but now with her legs clad in a pair of black knee high boots.

Before we began Rachel had asked what kind of fantasies I had and I had confessed having a puppy girl fantasy. It was in this direction that she now guided me. She forbade me from making eye contact and instructed me to speak only when permitted. These restrictions made me feel even more submissive and at her whim. Not being able to look up at someone but to stare at a fixed spot on the floor made me feel very isolated and on the edge.

Miss Rachel, as I began to think of her, instructed me how to kneeling pleasingly with my hands forward like a puppy and had me crawl across the floor. She instructed me to come to heel and punished me if I was not quick enough or pleasing enough. She spanked me as punishment and although I'd never really thought of being spanked as being a turn on I really enjoyed it as i felt i was being disciplined and trained to be more pleasing and obedient.

She also had me kiss and lick her boots...I feel a bit shy about going into detail here but the whole point of this blog is to talk about my exploration of my femininity and submission so it would be unfair not to go into details. At the same time though I don't want to descend into anything too smutty...just yet...

I leaned down to kiss the toes of her boots and found at once that my hair fell down in the way. Miss Rachel told me to lick her boots and so I did, forced as I was to hold my hair back as I busied myself. I thought I might have felt shame or something doing this but I just felt so happy to obey and I wanted to please Miss Rachel. She instructed me to lick higher and clean all of the boot. The leather felt good under my tongue. Miss Rachel told me that she wanted to feel my tongue through the leather and so I licked harder, forcing my tongue against the leather as I licked up and down.

We finished shortly after that and returned to the front room. Miss Rachel told me just to call her Rachel again and we were back to how things had been before. We talked a little while longer and then I had to leave. I was sad to go and wish we had had longer to play. All in all it was only about 20 mins, but when your a subbie you can't really ask to go on longer then the Domme wishes. I for one loved the experience of D/s play and can't wait to do it again in the future. I hope Miss Rachel enjoyed it also and that we can meet up again soon. Even if it's just for another chat I'll be happy. It felt right to be myself and talk naturally without hiding my "dark secret".

New Year, New Dress, New Friend

So you know how I've been banging out about "wanting to get out and explore my femininity and submissive side" and all that crap without actually doing anything about it? Yeah, thought you might have picked up on some of that. Well today I actually did something about it.

It's not that I haven't been trying to be proactive, I've met some awesome girls of late online and have been trying to plan some form of meet/night out as well as having talked to some really genuine Dom/mes who I'd love to visit for the weekend. But it always comes back to the same problem, what do I say to my parents without giving them a bare faced lie? If only there was someone in my home town who I could hang out and dress with who maybe had their own interest in exploring their Domme side. If only...

I got talking to Rachel through a mutual friend who when I mentioned where I lived asked me if I knew Rachel. She hooked us up on yahoo and we really hit it off. Rachel was very easy to talk to, she dressed with class, and in addition to that she had a bit of a Domme streak she was wanting to explore. She had a web cam and a genuine attitude and I quickly felt very comfortable talking with her. We got talking saying that we should meet some time maybe. Then I had to say something stupid.

I suggested that we met up the very next day. Great. Finally I find someone local who seems normal and not some scary and random caricature and I go and chase her off by suggesting to meet like some over zealous puppy. But to my great surprise and pleasure she said that would be fine. I guess somewhere I was thinking that if I tried to over anylise the situation there was a chance of planning something in the future and then other things coming up. By doing something so soon it left little time to worry about anything.

We arranged to meet the next day after lunch which meant that I could get out and be back home without having to explain my whereabouts to my parents which was really convenient. We chatted on the phone in the morning and Rachel sounded very nice serving to reassure me further about meeting. However she did ask that I came dressed. I think its easier for people that way as seeing someone in boi mode can really break the girl illusion. I'd been playng with the idea of getting a bit of an andro look and so didn't feel too nervous about popping on a bit of make up, some girlyboi clothes and packing a bag of other clothes including a new dress I'd bought that had arrived the previous day. This is it in the pictures btw? I love how versatile it is. I've only got half the styles figures out but I'm sure they'll be plenty of time. Sorry that theres no pics of me up in it yet I promise to take some for the next blog. But heres another one of me as a bit of a page filler :p

Anyway, I cycled across town and left my bike by the river. I didn't know if there would be anywhere to park outside Rachel's house so for some crazy reason I decided to walk the last 200 metres or so. I was wearing sun glasses so no one would be able to see my eye shadow or mascara but the bra I was wearing might have made me stand out a little bit.....I had no idea it would be so busy! I kept my eyed down and flushed red every time i was forced to walk past anyone. At one point I saw some young guys approaching, about 19 or 20 and had to take a quick detour out of the way as if anyone was going to say anything about a boy walking down the road in a padded bra they would!

Things didn't get much better from there. I followed Rachel's directions but found out that she lived right next to a high school....and it was lunch time! So all the kids were milling around the street! I was petrified someone might say something. Finally i found a quiet back ally, put my wig on, and I was ready to knock on the door. Hmmm....I think the second part can wait for the next post. =D see you soon!