Guirlyboi

Ok, so little nervous about this pic. As you can see, this is me without a wig so no anyone who reads this blog can recognise me on the street, oooh errr!

I had second, third, and fourth thoughts about posting this picture but the feedback and support from several friends who encouraged me to post it was decisive in my decision. That and I actually quite like this picture myself. As much as a love my new wig, it is nice to think that I can look natural and femme using my own hair. Well, I think I do, but you can make up your own minds I'm sure.

It is a little worrying thinking that now people know what I look like and I hope this picture won't come back to haunt me when I become UN Secretary General but two things convinced me otherwise.

Firstly, as much as all the fame of having people reading and commenting on my blog has inflated my own ego, I have little delusions about how many people actually read this blog. (I'm pretty certain that out of the 2000 hits at least 500 have been me checking on my site.) Anyone who reads this will have an interest in tgurls and so no one is going to out me without also outing themselves.

The second thing is that fact that I don't really care if people know that I'm transgender. When I came out to people in Japan, and to my brother it was a relief having people know about the real me and it's something I hope to achieve now I'm back in the UK (when I move down to London of course) And besides, anyone who reacts negatively is probably not someone I want to be friends with anyway.

I hope that by posting this picture it'll help me come to terms more with who I am and maybe also encourage other people not to care I someone recognises something you post and outs you. Still, doesn't make me any less nervous about posting....please me nice to me.

The London Job...

So finally, after weeks of waiting I found out about the London job yesterday. I've been so nervous the last few weeks knowing that if I got the job I'd be moving down to London in the new year and have the opportunity to dress and go out that I want so bad. Well, to cut a long story short, I didn't get it :(.

I won't say I wasn't gutted as I was, feeling a little depressed right now especially as my temporary contract expires next week so over Christmas I'll be an unemployed 25 y/o with no job living in the smallest room of my parents house. What a prospect I am!

But oh well, at least the job wasn't my dream job, maybe the fact that I told them I saw it as a starting position that I'd only do for a year or two made them less likely to employ me? I know in the end it was between me and one other person and I'm just wondering why they went for him and not me? Did he have more experience? Was he a nicer person? Was it just the fact that they couldn't choose between us and they saw him a week after me and so had forgotten me? I dunno. My mum wants me to phone to find out but to be honest that doesn't sound very appealing to me. I just want to move on.

A Little Extra Pocket Money

I had a second interview for the London job yesterday, its down to me and one other person now which is very nerve wracking. I went down to London to meet the team and have a look about and the other person will go down next week which means that I have to wait until then until I know. So fingers and toes crossed.

I'm really excited about the prospect of moving down even though this is only a low paid entry level job, but the prospect of living, working, and partying in London is too good to pass up even if I have to consider getting a second job to bring in a little extra pocket money.

This might not be too bad actually as I've always liked the idea of working in a bar, especially a tgurl bar. It would be fun to have somewhere to go and meet people on a regular basis and actually get paid to dress up and be convincing. It's something I'll defiantly look into if I hear back positively in the next week. I'm sure I've spoken to people in the past from tgurl bars who were looking for bar girls. If anyone knows of any vacancies let me know.

London Calling

I got a phone call from the job I went for! Ok, so it turns out the want me to go back to London next Tuesday for a second interview, but it means that they like me enough to consider me for the job. It turns out its between me and another person who has the interview the day before. The last slot is always the best place to be so I think I've got a very good chance of getting it.

I'm so excited at the prospect of moving down to London, getting my own space and a chance to meet new people, and of course the oppertunity to dress and go out as I please. I still have a long way to go, and theres no guarentee that I'll even get this job. But the light of London are on the horizon.

Red Sky in the Morning....

I got to see the dawn this morning. The depressng thing was I'd already been awake for two hours before the sun decided to show up! The sky was red as the sun rose, an omen for the day?

So today was the big interview was today. I got up at 6, was out of the house for 7 and didn't get back home till 10. All for an interview from 11:30-12:30. Anyway, it seemed to go as well as could be expected although my lack of experience could prove to be a fatel floor. How I hate these catch 22 experiences. I can't get a job becuase I have no experience and I can't get experience becuase I can't get a job! Saying that, I am doing voluntary work so I am being proactive, but is it going to be enough? I'll find out about the job next week so fingers crossed. If I don't get it I might have to pester Keliana about that PA position she mentioned.

Oh yeah, and I figured out what red sky in the morning means.....theres clouds dummy.

Job Interview

Tomorrow is going to be a big day. I've been hoping to find a job down in London for the past three months and tomorrow I have my first interview! I'm not expecting to get the job necessarily, it is my first interview after all, but I'm hoping I might all the same!

Since getting back to the country in July I've been staying at my parents. As much as I love them I've still to get around to tell them that I'm tg (and still unsure if they *really* need to know) and so the chances to dress and express my femme side are few and far between. The prospect of getting a job in London far away from home is therefore doubly exciting.

I wouldn't move to London just to get a chance to dress of course, but the chance to start a career, live in a city like London *and* the opportunity to dress is too good to pass up. So wish me luck, if not in this job in the next, and who know in a few months maybe we'll be bigging it up together in London town.

On another not I hope you like this picture I chose to represent my interview. Its actually pretty close to what I'm going to wear tomorrow, a cute white shit, black top and with a nice professional looking leather folder. Sadly I won't look as pretty as the girl in the picture, but give me a little more time ;)