Wow, well where to begin? I'm afraid it's been far too long since my last update and the speed with which things happen combined with ongoing job hunting means that I feel as if I'm playing catch up a bit.
In my last blog I was telling you about going out to Big Night Out which was still only my third time out dressed. If I told you that in the last month the amount of times I had dressed outside of the confines of my own home stood closer to seven (if fact so much and so blurred that I'm now going to stop counting) and even included attending a Chinese buffet in central Manchester, would you believe me?
I guess the big change has been having people who I can go to places with as very few tgurls I'm sure have the balls to go to many events alone. (and maximum respect to those who do) In the last month six has taken good care of me and my confidence has grown immensely and for that I will always be eternally indebted to her.
The week after BNO I decided I would try to make it to the local Munch. (For those who don't know and have not read my previous blogs a Munch is basically a place where people with a shared BDSM interest meet for drinks occasionally) With her encouragement I went dressed and feel this was defiantly the right decision. While it may have been easier and less risky to have gone in boi mode it would be difficult to shake that image of me from the minds of other simply by putting on a skirt and some make up. Taken as well with one of my long term goals being to be comfortable and confident going out dressed this encouragement was exactly what I needed.
There was a little scary moment when we arrive in the venue and ordered a drink at the bar. I wanted to shoot upstairs to the pre-booked function room as opposed to standing in at the bar regardless of how empty it was. I had specifically dressed in andro style clothes as I feel more comfortable thinking that people are double taking me and wondering if I'm a guy or a girl then have them look at me and think I'm just a guy in drag or something. One old guy at the bar kept staring at me and I steadfastly refused eye contact. I was sure that I had no chance of passing and that the girl behind the bar who smiled at me was mealy humoring me but perhaps not?
I guess when it comes down to it there are alot of ugly girls out there and even with my guy shoulders, awful make up, and stubble I'm still slightly more passable than some genetic girls out there. Well, I have to have something to cling to. six tells me though that all I need is confidence and she is right of course. If I hold myself and walk as if I don't care and am not out of place no one is hardly likely to confront me.
After ordering drinks we went upstairs where other people local to the area had come. Everyone was really nice and although I was nervous throughout I don't think I needed to be. It was a little hairy being the only t-gurl there. At other events I'd been to it was a reassuring thing that no matter how badly dressed I was there was always someone maybe more so. But here, at an event that had nothing to do with the t-gurl or the gay scene I was perhaps, from one point of view, a fish out of water.
None the less it was a wonderful experience and one that I would recommend to other t-gurls who read this. While going to tg clubs and events can be alot of fun I think most of us aspire to be able to do things with people who we share other interests with than solely an affection for pretty clothes. (not that that is not enough) I was certainly out of my comfort zone but then that's often the best place to be for an interesting life.
Hmm I think this will do for one post. I'm sorry that there's no pictures but I promise to make it up with the next one. It should be along very soon as it's already happened. I guess it just depends on how lazy I am.
In my last blog I was telling you about going out to Big Night Out which was still only my third time out dressed. If I told you that in the last month the amount of times I had dressed outside of the confines of my own home stood closer to seven (if fact so much and so blurred that I'm now going to stop counting) and even included attending a Chinese buffet in central Manchester, would you believe me?
I guess the big change has been having people who I can go to places with as very few tgurls I'm sure have the balls to go to many events alone. (and maximum respect to those who do) In the last month six has taken good care of me and my confidence has grown immensely and for that I will always be eternally indebted to her.
The week after BNO I decided I would try to make it to the local Munch. (For those who don't know and have not read my previous blogs a Munch is basically a place where people with a shared BDSM interest meet for drinks occasionally) With her encouragement I went dressed and feel this was defiantly the right decision. While it may have been easier and less risky to have gone in boi mode it would be difficult to shake that image of me from the minds of other simply by putting on a skirt and some make up. Taken as well with one of my long term goals being to be comfortable and confident going out dressed this encouragement was exactly what I needed.
There was a little scary moment when we arrive in the venue and ordered a drink at the bar. I wanted to shoot upstairs to the pre-booked function room as opposed to standing in at the bar regardless of how empty it was. I had specifically dressed in andro style clothes as I feel more comfortable thinking that people are double taking me and wondering if I'm a guy or a girl then have them look at me and think I'm just a guy in drag or something. One old guy at the bar kept staring at me and I steadfastly refused eye contact. I was sure that I had no chance of passing and that the girl behind the bar who smiled at me was mealy humoring me but perhaps not?
I guess when it comes down to it there are alot of ugly girls out there and even with my guy shoulders, awful make up, and stubble I'm still slightly more passable than some genetic girls out there. Well, I have to have something to cling to. six tells me though that all I need is confidence and she is right of course. If I hold myself and walk as if I don't care and am not out of place no one is hardly likely to confront me.
After ordering drinks we went upstairs where other people local to the area had come. Everyone was really nice and although I was nervous throughout I don't think I needed to be. It was a little hairy being the only t-gurl there. At other events I'd been to it was a reassuring thing that no matter how badly dressed I was there was always someone maybe more so. But here, at an event that had nothing to do with the t-gurl or the gay scene I was perhaps, from one point of view, a fish out of water.
None the less it was a wonderful experience and one that I would recommend to other t-gurls who read this. While going to tg clubs and events can be alot of fun I think most of us aspire to be able to do things with people who we share other interests with than solely an affection for pretty clothes. (not that that is not enough) I was certainly out of my comfort zone but then that's often the best place to be for an interesting life.
Hmm I think this will do for one post. I'm sorry that there's no pictures but I promise to make it up with the next one. It should be along very soon as it's already happened. I guess it just depends on how lazy I am.
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