How do you tell your new gf that you’re tg?

I seem to have found myself suddenly going out with a girl.

This in itself is not a problem. I like girls. Girls are nice. However at the time we got together she didn’t have the foggiest idea about who I was deep down.

I recently met this girl in church (yes, I appreciate how strange that may sound coming from a self-confessed tg bondage kitten but I shall save that discussion for another day) and we started hanging out. We had a lot of shared interest, although I’m fairly confident that I at least have some interest that she perhaps does not share. I started hanging out at her flat and cooked her a few meals, afterwards curling up on her couch and watching some films by one of my favourite Japanese directors, Hayao Miyazaki, who she also loves.

Anyway, one thing led to another and we kissed.

I wasn’t quite sure what to make of this. Like I said, I like girls. But could she like me if she knew me? Should I tell her or should I try and hide those things?

I’m generally an open and honest person. In face, if I was not back living in the town where I’d grown up I’d probably be more open about my alternative interests. When I lived in Japan all my closest friends knew I was TG and thats the way I liked it. However, being back home and around parents and old friends things were never so easy.

I found myself wondering if I should ignore this girl or not return her calls so that we would actually go out and I could carry on as before. The only problem is I found it was me who was texting her and popping over. I knew however that we could not go out unless I told her who I really was.

Now I said she was a Christian, but like me I think she’s at a point where we figure there is a God probably, and people in church are nice, but the two facts might not neccesarily be related. I guess you could say we’re both pretty liberal about our faiths. I figured that I would start small and work up. If I scared her off before I told her I was TG so be it.

Perhaps a little forwardly then, one of the first question I asked her when we were out on a romantic moonlit walk by the river was her thoughts on sex before marriage. Most of our Christian friends shun the idea of sex before marriage but I’ve always thought sex should be fun and if you save it for the person you’re meant to settle down with for life then you’re not getting the most out of what is surly a God-given gift? She revealed that she had in fact had sex – although it was before she became a Christian, but seemed quite happy with my idea that sex should be enjoyed. She felt it should be more savoured as a special occasion then a casual occourence which I could agree with.

With a sigh of relief I said that was one down – implying that there was more to follow. I quickly explained that I like her – I thought she was great – however I wasn’t sure if we’d known each other long enough to be really going out and didn’t want to rush into anything before she knew some things about me. If she didn’t like what she heard I was prepared to cut my losses and run, but there was no way I was going to hide too many secrets. That kind of approach has ways of coming back to bite you.

So I pressed on. If she wasn’t phased by the fact I’d had sex she might not be worried that I was effectively bi. I told her I didn’t believe in sexuality and had been with guys. She actually thought this was cute and asked if I’d had a boy friend! I think my ideas about gender and sexuality being social constructs appeal to many people so I was able to expand on this by telling her I didn’t believe gender was fixed either and this, of course, resulted in me revealing that I was transgender.

Again she took it well. As I look back now, I can’t for the life of me remember what she said exactly, so relieved was I that she didn’t reject me. She certainly wasn’t “yay my boyfriend is tg” but she did like the idea that we could now share clothes.

It’s still early days. I don’t want to make out that it’s all done and dusted and she’s accepted me with no qualms. We’ve still not know each other long and although I’ve told her I’m tg she’s no idea what I look like as a girl so the next step perhaps is to show her a photo and ideally some time soon have her over to my place to see me dressed in the flesh.

But it’s a good start. The beginning of the relationship is certainly the best place to mention the fact that you’re tg if you get half an oppertunity. So yeah, watch this space I guess.

Purple Pics

Transgendering for Dummies: The difference between cd, tv et al and why it doesn’t really matter

Yesterday one of my Facebook friends asked the question ‘What are the differences between drag, crossdressers, transsexuals, transvestite, tranny, T-girl etc etc….I never understand…..:(‘. I answered back, a little too quickly perhaps, that I didn’t feel it really mattered especially as whatever definition I gave someone else would disagree with. Rather glibly I said that it was best not to bother too much about this kind of thing and, while this is true, I do not feel it was a very good answer.

Anyone who has spoken to me on this topic, or read parts of my blog closely will know that I normally go out of my way to avoid rigid definitions and pigeon holing. The problem with this approach is that all too often I am essentially saying absolutely nothing.

Whether I acknowledge them or not however these definitions do exist. Although I might not think categories important other people do and inn this post I hope to present a brief description of how I think these terms are understood within a UK social consciousness before explaining why I believe it is important to move on past these understandings.

As a trained anthropologist, I’m aware that my worldview differs to that of others and, even though I have limited myself to examining gender in my own culture there will be people who disagree with my ideas. I invite all comments on this article but ask people to bear in mind that that I am not attempting to be prescriptive in my definitions nor pigeon hole people. I am simply expressing existing categories as I understand them.

Transgender

I general refer to myself as a t-girl or say that I am transgender or tg. This term appeals to me as I feel it says everything and nothing at one time. It is broad without being specific and at the same time shows my distinction from being male or female. Trans is generally understood to mean between the accepted genders of male and female but could also be understood as transcending the genders or rising above them. I am reluctant to mention this view too often as I feel it seems pretentious but it may be helpful to some people.

I previously stated I try and avoid defining myself so why then would I describe myself as transgender? I feel it important to do this outwardly at least as it allows people to find their own way to react to me. If I told someone I was male they might think I was just dressing for fun. If I told someone I was female they might think I was a bit confused. The term Transgender confuses many people as it is a new term to many people with the more common name outside the scene being Tranny. I am not overly fond of this phrase as I will explain and so the more people use the term transgender in the public eye the better. I feel it is a term that covers the whole spectrum of t-related issues and is the most inoffensive and least definitive option.

Tranny

In most definitions of popular culture, a male who dresses as a female is a Tranny, while this word sounds as if it is short for something for most people it is not. Tranny does not distinguish between a person who dresses casually and a transsexual and to most British people I feel they are seen as one and the same thing. Trannies in popular culture are normally seen as a figure of fun. While some television programmes are starting to deal with transgenderism in a sensitive way the majority of people will be familiar with trannies as comedy motifs. The protagonist of a comedy will go to bed with a gorgeous woman and find out that she is in fact a man! (or at the very least has a penis). They are a guilty taboo, sleeping with a ladyboy when on holiday with the lads in Thailand is a guilty mistake never to be mentioned. Even finding someone attractive before finding out they’re a tranny is a threat to masculinity.

This is how I understand the term tranny and is the association I believe exists in popular culture (please tell me if you disagree) however some people have less problems with the term. Sparkle’s beauty pageant is known as ‘Tranny of the Year’ and as far as I’m aware it is not buying into this stereotype. Perhaps it is brave to claim an offensive term as your own, much as the term ‘gay’ was embraced by the homosexual community, or perhaps for some people it does not bother them. At the end of the day it is only a word and words only have power if you care to give it to them.

Drag

Of all the terms associated with the transgender scene, drag is probably the most removed. Some would argue that it does not belong with the others and perhaps it does not. Certainly from within the tg scene, and what I understand of the drag scene they are seen as very different. A drag artist is a male who presents themselves using over the top motifs of femininity while at the same time being seen as a male. Big hair, big make up, outfits designed to make a big impression. Few, if any, drag queens identify themselves as being female, they dress for the fun of it, not to pass, in the stylised manner of a drag queen not as a woman. Women who look like drag queens rarely exist, at least not deliberately.

Cross Dresser and Transvestite

This is probably the most controversial section I have to deal with and I fully expect people to have different views. To mainstream society Cross dresser (cd) and transvestite (tv) mean pretty much the same as ‘tranny’ but are less used. To some transsexuals perhaps this is the same? Neither are words I would apply to myself but perhaps they are the most likely way I am seen by others.

One of the most frustrating things about the terms cd and tv are that they mean exactly the same thing. Transvestite just being French for a person who crosses clothes, however on the scene there is perhaps a distinction.

It is not something I witnessed in chat rooms, and rarely at tg events such as Sparkle or BNO, but there is a cadre of people who, while happy being male, enjoy dressing as females. They might not try to pass, they might not wear make-up, they might not wear a bra, they might not wear a wig. Perhaps they do none or all of these things. For some cd and tv are synonymous, but for others a cross dresser is simply a man dressing as a woman who is happy being a man dresses as a woman. I apologise if that is a confusing way to express it, but certainly in my understanding a cross dresser is happy being seen as a man but enjoys wearing woman’s clothes. A transvestite on the other hand does not see themselves in this way.

For a cross-dresser the aim is not to pass, they do not wish to be accepted as a woman and are happy being seen as a man. For them it is only about the clothes. While transvestite means essentially the same thing, they care more about passability. They are more likely to identify themselves as a female, or at the very least not a male and wish to be treated within the remits of female gender relations. A cd is happy to be refered to as ‘him’ as tv is not.

As stated this is an imperfect definition and I fully expect, and indeed invite, people to disagree with me. However I hope that for some people this distinction might be helpful. While I do not generally identify myself as a tv (preferring the less definite tg distinction) I feel that many people would view me as such. I am essentially a male who wishes to be seen as a female.

Transexual

This is our final area to look at and is no less controversial as the previous topics. There is perhaps a hierarchy of transgenderism or a progression. People begin by dressing in the clothes alone (cd) and some might hope to pass (tv) those who take it past this stage may call themselves transsexuals or ts. Whether there is a stage after this one is up for debate.

Some people may define themselves as transsexual if they feel that they identify themselves as female and nothing more, however the social majority would perhaps see a transsexual as more than that.

Generally a transsexual has decided, at least on a mental level, to transition, to begin the process of changing their outward gender and inward sex to the opposite of that which they were born. (This article is aimed towards male to female transition m2f, parts possibly apply to f2m but this is not an area I know as well.)

It is possible to take the COGNITI test and be told you are a transsexual at any point, however for most people they become a transsexual when they begin their transition either by seeing a doctor, starting to take hormones or resolving to live as a female full time. It is possible to be a casual cross dresser. Casual transsexuals do not exist.

Transsexuals come in all shapes and sizes. Some are seen by society as strange men with breasts, others as manly woman and some are not noticed at all. It is the goal of all transsexuals to be accepted as woman as far as possible.

Conclusion

As stated at the start this is not meant to be a definitive classification of the transgender spectrum. I believe it is wrong to attempt to define people and to tell them what they are or are not. The motivation was to share my understanding of the so called ‘common-sense’ understanding of tg themes as I see them existing within the UK scene and wider society. More than anything this article is meant to provoke discussion and I hope that people will respond and that in the future I will have the opportunity to clear up and classify.

These definition are not meant to be definitive and it is my honest feeling that they are unimportant. If you are transgender you are you and the path you walk is your own. Others may have taken similar routes but their answer is not yours and only you can find that. While other people may try and define you this is not something you need to do yourself. Simply be honest with yourself and open with your friends and loved ones and you will get where you are going.

Appendix

A quick reference for those who can’t be bothered reading the article. Please bear in mind these are my ideas only and are open for debate.

• Drag – A drag Queen (or King) or a drag artist is a person who provides a stylised impression of the opposite gender. They generally dress for comedic or show purposes and do not see themselves normally as being different to their accepted gender.
• Cross Dresser (CD) – A person (normally a male) who dresses in clothes of the opposite sex more for fun or comfort then for any other reasons. They may not wish to be seen as the opposite sex, they may be happy being seen as a male who dresses as a female.
• Transvestite (TV) – Very similar to the above, a tv is generally a male who dresses as a female and aims to pass or be accepted as a woman. They do not wish to be seen as being male, at least while they are dressed. They are not on hormones.
• Transexual (TS) – A transsexual is someone who has at least made a mental commitment to transition that is to change gender. Normally they will be living full time in the gender they feel they identify as and will be on hormones. They may have had full SRS (sexal reassignment surgery). Whether they are now a post-op ts or a woman is a debate for another time.
• Transgender (tg) – A catch all term for the above (with the possible expectation of drag). Transgender is a looser definition and is less prescriptive. It is not seen as being offensive.
• Tranny – A catch all term used by society in generally. It can be applied to all of the above. It can sometimes be seen as offensive.

Aimee Piper

I have been aware of my trans-tendencies since a young age, while I am not sure yet where I am going and what I want to be or be seen as I find trans-issues fascinating. I have a degree in Anthropology and while this certainly does not make me an expert it has given me some insight into how some concepts are cultural constructs as opposed to rigid facts. I believe gender is one of these.

Disclaimer

This essay is intended as a draft. I wrote it in an hour based on ideas I have had floating around in my head for some time. The ideas are my own and I understand that some people might disagree strongly with my views. I invite all courteous comments.

Gosh I’m so lazy! It’s been three weeks now and I still haven’t finished off my Sparkle report! In fairness though I have been a little busy. I’m still looking for a ‘proper’ job but for the last three weeks I’ve been doing a work placement which has been full-time so even though I’m not getting paid it certainly feels like a proper job!

Anyway, my last Sparkle related post had me finding my way home on the Friday night and fortunately not finding any unexpected visitors in my bed after losing my card key. On the Saturday I had the TotY to look forward too and so spent most of the day with my tummy bubbling with butterflies. The closer I came to the start of the event the more I wondered if I had maybe made a mistake in entering.

In the morning there was a undressed rehearsal for the event (by that I mean we weren’t dressed, not that we were undressed when we practiced) where the organisers explained to us how we were to get on and off the stage and at what points we were expected to pose and milk the crowd. Not everyone was en-femme already and so it was a little strange to see a few people standing around in general guy clothes and trying to figure out how they would look as a girl. AyCee and Cyndie were also there so it was another nice chance to catch up with them.

The actual event took place later in the evening and so we all started gathering in Sackville Gardens at around 5ish where a big stage had been set up. There had been acts on throughout the afternoon and the TotY was the last thing to take place so I guess you could say that it was the main event. The previous evening we had drawn out our order randomly and I had drawn the number 3. I was quite pleased with this as it meant that I would be one of the first so I would get it over with but I would not be *the* first and have everyone looking at me.

Here is a video that Emma Lovelace took backstage, hopefully she won’t mind me using it as it’s on YouTube already. I’m the little one milling around on the left at the start. The other girls were very friendly for the most part and were quite a diverse group. Most of the young girls had put in a lot of effort and there were some TSs who looked amazing. I felt a bit shy and wondering if I should have done a little more or if it was just nerves. As well as that there were some older girls too, some who had put in a lot of effort but at least one or two who I think had only entered for a bit of attention. We were only meant to be on stage for 30 seconds or so (and I was off and on perhaps a little too rushed due to my nerves) but she milked the crowd for a couple of minutes at least. It takes all types I suppose!

There were prizes in different categories such as ‘Best Deportation’ (walking), ‘Best Outfit’ and ‘Miss Congeniality’ as well as one give for most convincing which Cyndie rightly won. I didn’t get anything but then I hadn’t expected to especially considering how rushed everything was. I wasn’t convinced by my outfit or by how I had done my hair and as you can see from the above vid (which only catches a bit of me at the start) the shrug was a bad idea! Still, I had only entered for the fun of it and as a way of meeting new people and I defiantly achieved that and had a great time. Next year though I’ll try to be a bit more organised and take a smaller digital camera as I wasn’t able to take much with my large SLR.

Top TotY

Today I’m going to continue writing about Sparkle, as I said previously, it’s a pretty big topic and so it’s going to take me more then one post to cover some of the key events of the weekend from my perspective. Sparkle takes place in and around Canal Street on a Friday, Saturday and Sunday normally in July. While there are things happening on all three days, the biggest events take place on the Saturday, and the most popular of these is the Tranny of the Year competition.

I understand that in the early years of Sparkle (the event only began in 2004) the competition had been known as the ‘Miss Sparkle’ pagent but somewhere along the line someone decided to rebrand the event. Personally I feel that Miss Sparkle is a better name than Tranny of the Year however I must admit that ‘TotY’ is a useful acronym. I do feel however that it might blur the edges of who the competition is for as some people might not like to refer to themselves as a ‘tranny’ while others feel that the name implies it should be limited to transvestites. I was chatting to someone after the event who told me that they did not feel it was fair as transsexuals were allowed to enter. From my own perspective I did not mind but I can see where they were coming from.

When I attended Sparkle last year I bumped into my friend Jessica, a girl I knew from chix who had entered the competition. It seemed like a lot of fun and a great way to meet new people (not to mention get a little attention) and so I thought that it would be fun to enter.

I sent in my application a couple of months before the event and swapped some emails with Leah True, tgirl extrodanair and one of the organisers of Sparkle. I received some instructions on things to consider when being marked during the pagent and an invitation to pick up my competition sash from AXM, the bar in Manchester which was hosting the launch party.

I arrived by myself on the Friday evening a flittered about as I usually seem to do at these events before catching Leah’s eye and introducing myself. Leah is a lovely person, very friendly and welcoming and we sat down as I registered and received my competition sash. In previous years the sashs had had the entrants name written on them, and I must admit this was one of the attractions of entering, so I was a little sad to see that the sashs were generic, with the name of the sponsor and event as well as an individual number. Leah explained that they had been short of entrants up until quite late and so did not have the two weeks needed in advance to send them to the printers. Also, the cost were a little expensive and it was one expense they perhaps didn’t need. (I should point out that there is no entrance fee for Sparkle or the contest and while I don’t know where they get the money from, the organisers manage to do a fantastic job.

After receiving my sash I had a new key card to use for getting into conversations which after all, was one of the main reasons why I had entered. I met several other girls who were competing and some of them I feel I clicked with very well especially two girls from Birmingham called AyCee and Cyndie. It was also easier to talk to other people and I met a very nice girl from Scotland called Cat and was able to catch up with another few friend who I had not been able to meet before including another Jess, this time from Leeds. Jess was a very cool chick and I had spoken to her off and on for a couple of years so to finally meet her was a high point for my weekend.

For the rest of the night I hung around with Cat, AyCee and Cyndie as well as meeting up with another friend Aleks who I had also been talking to for a couple of years and had met at the previous Indulgence, the BDSM club night in my home town. I was having a really good evening until I discovered that my clutch handbag had popped open and half of the contents had fallen out! someone on the street very kindly tapped me on the shoulder to point it out and I managed to scramble all of the bits lying at my feet back in. It was only later that I realised I had not gathered everything…

One of the great things about Canal Street is that its is the LGBTG heart of Manchester and also a place where many people go on hen and stag nights. Many people there are gay or bi but far from everyone and tgirls are a common site so abuse or negative comments are rare and often outweighed by the positive. I remember being accosted by a girl who was out with her gaggle of girl friends who wanted to pose with me and take photos which I took to be a compliment.

It was about 2am when I next opened my purse to check the contents and realised that I was missing something. Fortunately my money and card were still there but somewhere in Canal Street I had lost my room key! The key was a card that fitted into the door of my room and was pretty generic, but with it I had lost a small card that had come with it which had contained my room number and the name of the hotel. Fearing that some randomer might have found them and was now sleeping in my bed I decided, reluctantly, that I should return to my room.

As no one else was staying in my direction I had a long, lonely walk back but I made it to the hotel unscathed and the nigh porter let me in. I told him I lost my key and he checked my name off the list and issued me with a room key. I asked if I needed to pay anything but he waved me away implying that it was a common occurence. I went back to my room and found it in the same state I had left it a few hours earlier and felt relief but I was also a bit annoyed that my airheadedness had curtailed a good night. Still, it was only Friday and tomorrow was another day.

Back from Sparkle

Just got back from Sparkle earlier today. Its nice to have a chance to rest my poor feet! I'm normally quite good in heels but I've never worn them for practically two days solid before. Deffinatly something else to add to the need-to-buy list: a pair of nice flat shoes!

I have a lot to write about and I doubt very much that it will all fit into one blog post but I'll try and cover a bit of the background in this post and a general overview of the weekend. As covered in previous enties this year was my second Sparkle, the first being twelve months ago. I was a bit disorganised that time and and ended up crashing on peoples floors. It was ok, but I did feel as if I was imposing a little. This time I made sure to book a hotel room early but having not met up with many people who I knew were going I didn't end up sharing with anyone. I ended up being quite far from other people and this made me feel a little bit isolated as I was often wandering around by myself while waiting for people. I'll have to make sure to rectify this before I start re-enforcing my image as the resident billy-no-mates of Sparkle.

Hopefully though I met enough people over the weekend that I will be able to arrange to stay closer to people and maybe even share a room. I got a good deal at the hotel and it wasn't to expensive but if I'd been in a triple instead of a single it would have been cheaper and I wouldn't have had to share a bathroom. There were at least three people who I met for the first time over the weekend who I've actually known for probably two years each and it was nice to finally meet in purpose and see them as real people as opposed to electronic-contacts.

Thats probably the best thing about Sparkle, there are so many people that its the best chance to meet new friends. The fact its in Manchester's Canal Street as opposed to just a night in a bar means that you can do alot more mingling and talk to stranger or friends-of-friends more naturally and without shouting.

Anyway, I'm tired and need to catch up with my sleep so I'll finish there for tonight but promise to write more when I get half a chance!

Another Night of Indulgence

About 12 months ago, the organisers of my local munch decided that they were going to set up a club night, so that people from my little city and the surrounding area can get their local fetish fix. Having been overseas for much of the last year, I missed the first couple of events but heard that they were very well attended and successful. I managed to make it to the last one and covered it in a previous blog and last Saturday I made to to my second Club Indulgence.

Previous events had had some great numbers but perhaps had not been as well organised as the group might have hoped. To tighten things up we got together a five-person committee to take responsibility for different things and somehow I ended up being the fifth member. Not that I had too much responsibilities to worry about and, to be honest I didn't actually make any of the pre-event meetings, but it did mean that I was able to wear a shiny badge on the night that told everyone I was a Team Member.

In my case being a team member consisted of pestering everyone to buy raffle tickets, making sure that no one was sitting around on their own like a lemon and test driving any of the equipment that others thought wasn't getting the attention it deserved. All this was quite fun although I did feel a little bad pestering people to buy raffle tickets but most people bought a fivers worth and we made a fair amount of money which was split between an equipment fund and a chosen charity. In this case it was for a domestic violence supporting group which was a very worthy cause.

For the night we kindly had some equipment loaned by the local barn that I have blogged about previously, including the frame that had been put together at the scrap yard challenge the other week. In addition to this there was a flogging bench, a netted frame and a very small cage which I got locked in for a small chunk of the night. The cage seemed tiny and I had to back in but I was quite pleased at how long I was able to remain in it without feeling too uncomfortable.

Having my 'Team Member' and being forced to sell raffle tickets meant that I was able to talk to everyone who came to the club night. We only had abut 30-35 people which was less then normal but it was a good enough number that people didn't feel over crowded and could talk to each other and use the different pieces of equipment.

The night finished at about two and I stayed to help tidy up at the end. Everything ran really smoothly and I'm looking forward to the next one which will be in September.

Help! Shoe Conundrum!

My dress for Sparkle came the other day so yay! For under 30 quid on ebay it is most impressive, a pretty colour, a snug fit and with a pretty mesh design. I'm definitely happy! The only problem now is shoes...

While it is true that I do comfortably own more girl shoes then boy shoes I am saddened to admit that they aren't all the perfect fit. It's a hard thing to do, to perk up the courage to march into a mainstream store and start trying on shoes and so unfortunately, more often then not, I have resorted to buying some shoes that I bought from the hip, or that I bought from ebay.

I have this one lovely pair that are 4 inch patent leather MJs that I love. However the only pair is that when I asked for a size 6.5 they sent me a size 10. Admittedly it was a US size 10 which I guess is UK 9 (maybe) but they are still too big, and while I can walk in them, I do not think clopping around in too big shoes is going to impress the sparkle judges.

I have another pair of shoes that are practical if unspectacular but fit snugly. The heel, no more then three inches, is easy to walk in and they are the kind of shoe you could happily wear for hours. The only draw back it, that while mostly black, there is a thin line of white running around the edge. If I'm wearing a red and black dress surly that white is going to jump out a mile. Plus they're no where near as sexy as the four inches, but then at least I can walk in them naturally.

The only other option is to go and buy some new shoes, and while normally I do not require much persuasion my bank account is so empty it echos. Can I really justify buying another pair of shoes? And if I did where would I get them from if I can't trust ebay and don't fancy walking into a store to try them on?

40 000 Hits!!!

Ok, I'll admit maybe 50 000 hits is probably a better milestone....but I just couldn't wait! Thank you to everyone who has visited my website and an especial thank you to the ones who keep coming back! Please continue to do so and I promise I'll try and keep things interesting.

I think most of those 'visitors' have come from people visiting different pages however as since I hooked up Google Analytics to my site on the 22nd of May I have only actually recorded 1356 visitors, although that in itself is pretty good in a little over then a month!

As we're quoting statzies, here are a few more:

• The majority of visitors (621) have come from the UK with over 300 coming from London alone. Manchester, Edinburgh and Birmingham follow but those three have only 74 hits combined.
• The second most represented country is the USA with 410 hits arriving from 45 different states. New York (64) and California (35) are where most visitors hale from.
• Visitors have come from 64 different countries with Germany (62), Australia (32) and France (32) all having good showing.
  
• The average time spent looking at the site is a little over 2 minutes (02:01) with 80% of those being from new visitors.
  
• The 1356 visitors have views a combined 3772 pages meaning that on average each individual hit covers 2.78 pages.
  
• The most popular day was June 13th when 120 people viewed the site.
  
• Nearly half (48%) of traffic was directed from HungAngels.com, a shemale/tg appreciation community site. 119 people have come across from the link in my tvchix page while 145 have come from blogger links (which I wonder if that means me clicking on the page to see how many new hits I have....)

So yeah, 40 000 hits, whooot whoooot whoooo! Thank you very much for your visit and I hope I'll see more of you in the future.

Aimee

Stuff and Stuff

Quite a bit is going on at the moment which is exciting and they're are a fair few things I have to be looking forward to. The big thing is of course Sparkle which is only two weeks away now (less actually eep!) I got an email from Leah True over the weekend who is one of the organisers containing some basic information about what will be happening for the Tranny of the Year competition. I guess Toty is an nice acronym, and 'Transgendered-person of the Year 'would be a bit of a mouthful, but I'm much more happy telling people I'm entering the 'Miss Sparkle' competition then the other thing. I've spoken to quite a few people off tvchix who are going and hoping to meet alot of new people while I'm there so I'm very excited. Several of my friends have cried of poor so I may not see them unfortunately. I can understand of course, the weekend has already set me back £100 and that's just for my dress and the room for two nights! I dread to think how much it will cost in the end but hopefully I can get a free drink or too at least.

The blog seems to be getting a nice amount of views, I'll be up to 40000 hits in a few days which is very exciting! Thank you to everyone whose made kind comments to me in chat rooms or in emails, it's great to know that people are reading and enjoying my writing. I'm still hoping that I'll get a few more comments but as long as people are reading I'm happy. In related news I now have my first follower of Twitter (http://twitter.com/AimeChanTG) so thank you to theeayatollah for following me, i promise to try and be even *more* interesting now!

My bottom is also feeling much better now which is nice. Hehe, I didn't get around to blogging about that actually but I went over to the barn the other weekend for one of the private parties and volunteered myself for single tail practice.

A single tail is a big whip, similar in ways to the Indiana Jones type that everyone imagines. One of the young Doms there wanted to try get some practice and as I had never tried one before I was more then happy to help out. The idea with a single tail is just to hit someone with the very end in a quick crack. You're not looking to beat the hell out of them (anyone could do that) but apply the right kind of swish to crack over the target area. I've been caned before (which really hurt) and used by paddles and floggers but the sensation of the single tail was very different. It did hurt but it didn't seem more then I could handle at any point. It was only when six suggested I pull down my tights that we realised the extent that my bottom had been cut open! It was nothing too drastic so don't worry, but the surface had been broken well over a dozen times and there were red welts across the skin. I actually though it looked quite pretty but it was defiantly time to stop.

Anyway, it's been a week now and I'm now and although they're are still some mark I'm mostly recovered. The sensation of a single tail was very different and I'm not sure I enjoyed the sensation of it as much as I have floggers but it was still nice to have been used as practice. I don't think I'll be volunteering again too soon, but at the same time I don't think I would necessarily turn down the opportunity.

Little Black Dress

Sparkle is only two weeks away now so I guess I better start the search for the classic LBD. Most of my wardrobe generally leans towards the goth/alternative part of the spectrum and I rarely go for the 'girly girl' look. The one exception of course is when I tried on an elegant corset for a photo shoot, but how good that looked took even me by surprise!

I've started looking through ebay, amazon and someone kindly recommended asos and they're seems to be some choices there. Due to my finances at the moment I'm having to limit my budget to under £25 so I shall have to see what I can find. Still, I'm collecting possibilities and will keep you up dated regarding what I choose.

Rope Bunny

The local munch has been having themed events of late which has been working really well. I am more then happy to sit down in a pub with a group of others and chat about BDSM related things but having a specific topic or theme to the munch add a focus as well as an opportunity to ask questions about things you may not have done. It also enables people to remember specific munches as opposed to everything merging together.

This months munch was rope themed and as many of my readers already know, they're are few things I enjoy more then being tied up. The workshop was led by a Dom from North Wales who brought a variety of different ropes which soon piled up on the table beside him. I tried not to be overly eager and give other people a chance to volunteer as demo bunny but it wasn't long before I found myself sitting on a stool with my hands tied behind my back.

I think there is something about the constriction of rope bondage that appeals to me. I like the fact that you are giving control over to another person and just the feel of the tightness of the rope against you're skin. The aesthetics are also very important to me and I was happy to have some photos taken to demonstrate the work.

We did a basic harness and arm bind and then I decided I should try and let someone else have a go so I hopped off the stool and got to admire watching the construction of a rope corset arm binder. One of the girls from the munch has a scarily high pain tolerance, some of the things she goes through would break me but she just giggles. The rope master placed a series of ties down both her arms before threading another rope through the looks like a corset. He then pulled them in so that the girls arms were squeezed back behind her back. She, of course, just giggled as her hand slowly turned purple.

She was find in the end of course, we always look out for each other and the munch is a very safe environment for trying out new things. Given the choice she would have probably happily stayed bound like that for longer but as her hands were now a darkening puce we thought it best not to let her.

It is an interesting point about the subbie mentality though and something Dom/mes should be aware of. We don't always know whats best for us and so Dom/mes should always be thinking about what is in the best interest of the subbie they are using and how much they can really take....more on this in a future blog...

New Hair

Hmmm seem to remember making an earlier post with exactly the same title before....am I really going through that much hair I wonder?

Anyway, in my last post I was telling you how I was in Manchester last weekend. Going to Lash and clubs and stuff is awesome, but at the same time I want to be able to walk down the street and hopefully not get too many funny looks. Sure, dressing is nice and fun, but really the whole point of it for me is passing.

One of the biggest tranny-tells (hmm, I like that phrase, a future article perhaps?) is the hair. Girls with their own hair look awesome. Girls without unfortunately normally don't. Sadly, for reasons I won't whine about here (read older posts if you really want to know my phoibles) I'm not able to grow my own hair which makes a decent wig an essential.

I have a few knocking around that I've picked up from various online sites, cheap ones sold at BBB and one I bought from a friend. However I figured if I was serious about passing I would need to buy a good wig, and I would need to buy it in person.

On the Saturday after Lash I went into Manchester with my friend. I'd seen a couple of wig shops before and thought that that would be a good place to start. I wore my normal wig as we walked through Manchester, dressed in an androgynous way so as not to draw attention. No one battered an eyelash so at least on that basic level I was more or less passable. We found a shop just around the corner from the Arndale (and near to Affleck's) and, taking a deep breath, we went in.

I was a little worried at first but I figured it's probably a lot easier to buy a wig when they can see that your transgendered then if you just go in in boi mode. That probably looks a little bit suss, but when they can see that you dress and aren’t embarrassed by the fact other people aren’t either. The shop assistant was very kind and helpful and my friend six was there too to give me a second opinion.

The selection wasn't massive and unfortunately there wasn't really anything close to my own colour (which is an auburn) but I was still able to find a colour which worked well with my completion. The first wig that I tried on had a really nice fringe and I liked it a lot however the second had a lot of potential with different things that could be done to it.

I was initially leaning towards the first one as it was a pretty cool contemporary cut that seemed easy to manage and maintain. However there wasn't really much you could do with it other than wear it how it was. I was a bit unsure initially about the second one as it seemed to require higher maintenance but as six and the shop assistant pointed out, there was a lot more that could be done with it.

The assistant, who was really helpfully and friendly throughout, showed me a few different styles that could be done with it, showing me how it could be worn up, or how different slides and accessories could be used. By the end I was sold. True, it wasn't the kind of wig you could just put on and go, but the quality of with wig and the amount that could be done with it made it exactly what I was looking for.

Lash Pic

I managed to get hold of a larger copy of the picture from Lash as promised. See, I do occasionally manage to get pictures up to document what I'm doing! Not the best pic but not to terrable for a snap shot either.

Lash II

Well I've finally managed to get a pick up after all these weeks of promising. Ok, admittedly it's not the best pic, it’s a little small and my eyes are closed (not that you could really tell from the size of the file) but at least it is a picture all the same.

The picture was taken at Lash, a fetish night that happens in Manchester once a month and which I have blogged about once before previously. A larger version can be seen on Lash's website http://www.clublash.com/imgs/photos/2010/June/slides/DSC07202.html.

I wasn't sure if I was going until quite late. My friend six, who I know from the Chester munch, asked me if I was going and as I had nothing planned and she (it turned out) had two free tickets I thought that I might as well go.

I was busy during the day so we didn't get into Manchester until the early evening. We checked into our hotel, the place where I'll be staying for Sparkle, and I went upstairs to get changed before going out that evening. I had been a bit rushed in getting packed and so I just had a very basic outfit, a short red checked skirt which I wore with my red corset, shug and the boots I'd recently bought from BBB. It's an outfit I've worn a lot before and I defiantly know I need to get some new clothes.

After a drink or two in the bar we went across to the club which is only around the corner. We had met a couple in the hotel bar and there were another couple in the club who we knew, but for the most part I didn't know anyone in the club. A club night is quite different to a private party like some of the ones I have been to at the barn. The music is good and there is always at least a couple of people on the dance floor but it's always a little bit more difficult to strike up a conversation.

After a couple of hours (and a couple of drinks) I ended up talking to a tgirl called Si. At least I think she was a t-girl but it was a little difficult to tell. Si had a wonderful figure, a really cute skirt and some killer heels. But at the same time s/he wasn't wearing any make up that I could notice and had no bra or padding to give the impression of breasts. You get a whole range of people dressing, some want to be seen a blokes in skirts and others hope to be seen a girls. Si was somewhere in between so I wasn't sure how to refer to her.

Si mentioned that she was into shibari so I was quick as always to leap at any opportunity to get tied up. Lash has a play room which was empty for the most part of the night so we went through and played with an A-Frame. Si gave me a top tie, a loop of rope that bound the breasts nice and tight. After that though things get a little blurry and I'm not sure how many glasses of wine I had. I know that we did some CP too because my bottom is still aching a little bit and i think it was with some kind of cane or crop. It felt nice at the time whatever it was.

Scrapyard Challenge

Oh dear, I am getting behind with this blogging! I logged on to write about last night and then realised I hadn't gotten around to talking about last week yet! I guess I had better try and cover that before I move on. Oh well, the fact that I' having to try and keep up means that at least my life is almost interesting at the moment.

Last weekend the barn organised a Scrap yard Challenge initiative where teams were invited to come down and use the day to construct bondage apparatus from any odds and sods lying around or that they brought with them. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get down to the construction part (not that I'm the most practical person in the world anyway when it comes to making anything more complicated than a cup of tea) but I did manage to arrive in time to be a demo bunny.

The first shiny was an original piece of kit, a holding device of sorts where a victim volunteer is strapped into a standing frame. The frame itself tilts backwards meaning that at first you feel that you are going to topple over, but it was so well designed that I don't think this would have occurred. A strap around the waist and neck hold the subbie in place and their hands are then cuffed behind their back in a very vulnerable and open position for frontal play. Some pictures were taken of me trying this out and I will try and get hold of them to brighten up my blog a bit.

The second device was upstairs in the converted loft space of the barn. The building is listen which means that there are very strict rules about what you can and can't alter which means that original (or very early beams) dominate the upper levels compartmentalising the space into three or four chambers. At the far end was a bondage frame.

The novelty of this second device was that there was a cross on one side and a H shape on the other meaning that you could have two submissive strapped at the same time facing each other which could be very interesting. Also, although I think this was a happy coincidence as opposed to deliberate design, the frame looked as if it could be tilted on its axis to change the lay out so that, if you were carful, the Saint Andrew's cross part could be used as support for someone lying across the frame with space underneath for the Dom/me to get in and about.

The third device was pony themes so obviously that gave it some good plus points in my eyes from the start but unfortunately lacked some versatility perhaps. This final piece of equipment was a rocking pony where a stomach rest rose from the middle of a roughly semi-circular piece of wood. The sub would kneel over the central support and a saddle could then be strapped on. Once a rider climbed on it was then possible to rock backwards and forwards like riding a child’s toy.

I tried all three of these devices out with a couple of other girls and then we went to a side room to discuss which we thought deserved to win.

While I liked the rocking pony and found it quite original, it seemed much less like a finished product. The elements of bondage were loose and I feel that if the pony's hands and feet were strapped in it would be more effective. Also, and perhaps this was just from my perspective, I didn't feel an awful lot of rocking was going on when I was on it and felt a bit sea sick. An original idea perhaps but not necessarily very versatile so it came third.

The frame with the cross and the H came second. It was a very well made piece and looked very professional. There was a lot you could do on it for sure but at the end of the day I still felt it was a frame and though well constructed, didn't really seem to offer anything different.

The first device, the strapping frame which I apologise, I have described poorly, won out. While it perhaps did not have the versatility of the other frame there was still a lot that could be done with it. I would have like to have played with it properly to know if I would have tumbled backwards or not (or maybe I wouldn't) but it seemed to be very well made and secure and a couple of adjustable features means that it could snugly fit a wide range of people.

Right, I have to go. I have a lot more to write about but it shall have to wait. Thank you for reading and please do leave any feedback and comments.

transgenderfriends.com

I seem to have been doing ad-hoc reviews for some tg website the last couple of posts so I thought I'd do another one today. Just to come clean, I must confess that the reason I have been joining so many personal sits of late is to get a link to my blog out there (is that bad?) but it is an interesting experience.

Earlier this week I was looking at Gaydar, probably one of the most well known personal sites for people with alternative sexualities. These sites (because there are two different sites for guys and girls) are great. They're colourful, bold and have a great range of people. While they're are bonus features for members there is still a great amount accessible to free users.

The major problem however, from my perspective, is that it isn't very tgirl friendly. On both sites you only have the option of listing yourself as a woman or as a man and not the other or anything in between. I can understand that, because they probably don't want "bi guys" mailing bisexual woman who are on the site looking for other woman or visa versa. I totally understand why this has been done. However, it does mean that transgendered girls miss out on this wonderful main stream community and are often relegate sadly to fetish sites. It was the search for a main stream tg site that led me to transgenderfriends.com.

Now the blurb on the front page starts out well, telling us that this is a site for "transsexual personals, transvestites dating, transgenders and shemale." before further down asking "Do you wish to meet up with a transvestite, transexuals or shemales? We offer a full range of features that will make your search a pleasure?" This is where I think the site gets a bit confused as to what it's trying to be. Is it a site for tgs to find other tgs or for admirers to go tranny chasing?

Now I apologise to anyone associated with the site if this condemnation seems a bit harsh, but I will explain what informed this question. After a very commendable section of the front page about 'Who are Transvestites and Shemales' (again I'll avoid semantics here)There is a 'Search now!' option.

The options it gives you are I am/we are then male or cd/tv/ts. Now I don't mean here that there are four options. I mean that you can either say you are male, or you can say you are cd/tv/ts.

Now firstly that is quite a range clumped together there. I still do not know the difference between cd and tv but I know they are different to ts. It would be better having separate options for cd and tv (someone who dresses for fun), transgender (someone who sees themselves as being more female) and transsexual (someone who is diagnosed or in some process of grs). Not only would this give a distinction between different kinds of people using the site but would allow people to specify what they are looking for or how they describe themselves.

And the second problem with the "I am" button is there are no woman.

Now it is true that there are many more men looking for tgs then woman but they're are females out there and there are many tgs looking for woman. I also know from my experience on sites such as tvchix that many post-ops prefer to term themselves as 'women' and would not appreciate being defined as a cd/tv/ts when they have a vagina.

It raises the question; who is this website for?

More insight is given if you do join as the first page you get is a lady who looks suspiciously like a drag queen (feather boa, big hair, ball gown) saying "Come inside and share your darkest desires."

Once again I would like to congratulate the site for trying to impart understanding about transgendered people on its first page but this is one step forward, two steps back almost. Now for some people dressing and admiring is a sexy forbidden pleasure, however for many this is a stereotype that they wish to avoid. Now, is this site promoting itself as a fetish site, an adult site or a transgendered personal site? I really think the people running it need to decide one way or another because they're are some very confused signal.

Now I understand that the makers are probably trying to appeal to a broad church, get in the admirers, get in the fetishist and get in one or two transsexuals but I think it is possible to do this without resorting to the lowest common denominator.
My advice would be this, firstly to open up the options to differentiate between cd, tg and ts, throw some women in there as well as men and then you are truly opening up your audience. Now I know that many men find the thought of going with a t-girl homoerotic and that many people get turned on by dressing up and acting like a slut, but I feel these people will come to your site anyway without you having to specifically target them.

I do not wish to knock this site or see it taken down. It looks very nice (although I think they should have some more free options such as being able to see full sized pictures at least as a free user and not just thumb nails) and the UK's tg community needs sites like this however aim high, aim for the classy market and see what comes. I bet you membership will increase tenfold if you can get a good following of classy tg's to join up because frankly I'm afraid, at the moment I can see why some people may be put off.

Gaydar: Guys Vs Girl

Seems like a lot more guys use gaydar then girls. Had a quick look to see whose online in the manchester area. girls = 62, guys = 1156. Wow! So are more guys on the site in general? Are guys more open with their sexuality? Or are guys more likely to look for people online? Interesting.

Gaydar

One of the most popular personal sites for people of an alternative sexual pursuasion is Gaydar, a same sex personal site. I think I've had a profile on there before but it's been a while so I thought I'd make a new one now that I'm back in the UK. As well as the regualar Gaydar site for gay men there is also Gaydargirls which is aimed for gay women. There is no gaydartg as of yet however so I decided to join both.

I'm not sure what gay men would think of somone dressing like a girl posting on their site, or if gay women would have any problems with a boi in a dress appearing on theirs, but if they're were any problems I have yet to hear of it. And really, if you don't like my profile no one has to write me. I think for the most part though people won't mind.

It does lead me to thinking however what it is I'm looking for in a partner. I think the most fundamental thing, even before we start talking about the sex or gender, is that the person accepts me as who I am. I would love to be in the position to be in a loving relationship especially if I know that being transgendered was not only something accepted but desired even. Despite what my mum thinks (who feels tgs are something people either poke fun at or beat up) I think they're are people out they're who like the different attrabutes that a transgendered woman can bring to a relationship.

I don't like being steriotyped and try not to do the same to others, so its important to acknowlage that they're are as much range in men and woman as there are in transgendered people, but I do belive that they're are people out there who are more attracted to tg's the less. It would be nice to find a bf or gf from these sites but I'm equally happy to make more friends.

Indulgence

I feel very lucky that there is such a good munch going on in my town. I'm not quite sure what I would do with myself if I didn't have this outlet readily available. As well as a chance to get out, sit in a pub and talk about kink; it is sometimes the one oppertunity I have a month to get out dressed. I was very happy to hear then that not only did I have a munch to go to this month, but also that there would be a club night taking place in the same bar for me to go to.

This was infact the third or fouth kinky club night that had been organised by the nice people from the local munch, but my overseas galavanting of the last year has meant that I unfortunatly missed the previous ones. So this was my chance to see how things panned out in my own little berg.

I must admit that I am not especially experienced when it comes to organised club nights. I had been to a few t-focused ones, one in Leeds and BNO down in MK; and to a couple that were more kinky such as Lash and the club night after BBB. I think these are often smaller scale events where people come for the night as opposed to just a drink like you would get from a regular bar. Compared to these limited experience the night stood up very favorable.

I'm not sure what the final head count was but there was excess of thirty people when I arrived, most of which I didn't know. There was still a good number of the munch crowed however that I felt like I knew the majority of people. The club, like the munch, takes place in the first floor of one of the local bars, an old building with charecter (which i like) but sadly needs some work to keeping out the freezing cold! The main area is devided into three sections by wooden partitions, the central area being used for seating and the two side wings were filled with an assortment of bondage apparatus kindly brought from Nemesis in Manchester.

The aparatus however wasn't getting much use, I guess you need to have a certain amount of confidence and know a few people to strap yourself into a set of stocks and present your behind. Still, there organisers had thought of everything it seemed.

Forms were handed out to put forward yourself into the slave auction. I am not sure if funds were being raised for charity to cover event cost/ provide goodies for the future, i'll have to ask. Its an interesting idea but one I'm not necessarily sure about as it seems to me Dom/mes are more likely to bid then subbies meaning half of the people there were almost expected to pay while the other half where less likely. I certainly didn't put any bids in although I did fill out a form.

I'm not sure how much I went for or if there were more then one bid put in for me. Everyone was 'sold' it seemed which certainly implies that perhaps sympathy bids existed. I know that the lady who ended up 'winning' me certainly bidded for three other people. Still, it took nothing away from my enjoyment as I was led to the stocks and told to strip to my panties.

The Mistress took out a violet want and used a number of seperat attachement to tease my body. I wasn't sure how to react however as actually it just felt quite nice for the most part. The only exception being when she ran it over my nipple with just make me squirm a little bit. Later I saw her using it on somone else who was wriggling all over the place. Not sure if that means I have a higher pain threshold or just that the Mistress had found a higher setting on the dial.

The evening, and in fact the whole day (which was the same day as the pony play meet) seemed to go very quickly sadly unfortunatly and I wish I had had the oppertunity to talk to a few more people (and indeed try out a few more of the toys) but it was very enjoyable catching up with alot of people and I look forward to the next event.

Twitter

As an aspiring blogger i figured i should probably see about starting up a twitter feed. Sure, probably no one cares but what else am i meant to do with my rainey afternoons? For those clambering to follow me my new id is AimeChanTG.

The future starts now!

TINT: cross-dressing vs transvestite

I decided to sign up for one of the more well known tg sites today. Tranny International, or TINT seems to have a bit of a following online so I thought I'd join to see what I'd make of it. Unfortunately I got stuck in the middle of the application process.

Now I know my own name and, at a pinch, I can describe myself, but the next part really threw me. The text "I am" is followed by a pull down bar with the options: Cross Dresser, Transsexual, Transvestite, Woman, Man, Couple. Hmmm tricky...

One day I'll get around to writing my thesis in full regarding my opinions on gender (to cut a long story short I don't believe it exists and if it does then it's based on little more than semantics) however it was the Cross-Dresser Vs Transvestite option that threw me here.

Ok, so a cross dresser is someone who crossed clothes right? A boy who dresses like a girl or a girl like a boy. Where as a *transvestite* is someone who 'trans' (crosses) 'vestites' (clothes). You know, i think I'll just tick the boy box!

Interestingly I've just noticed another tg site, tvchix, has just change their pigeon hole options. Previously they had had blue tags for male/female admirers, orange tags for transsexuals and pink tags for pretty much everyone else. (CD, TV or t-somethings). I had always been a bit envious of those orange tags but felt I couldn't switch over until I was living full time.

However I noticed more and more organge tags appearing of late, some from people who certainly didn't look transsexual. After closer investigation I noticed that the self-definition options had been change. Now as well as pulling male, female, couple or intersexed you can choose from a range of complimentary options including the traditional TV, CD, pre-op and post-op as well as the new t-girl and transgender.

Now I have as much idea about the distinction between t-girl and transgender as I do about TV and TG but it is nice that there are a few more options. Personally I tend to try and avoid defining myself but understand why sites feel they need to. To me t-girl or transgender seem to be the loosest definition and more obviously be taken to mean a number of things which is why I choose them if they are options.

I guess the point of all this is that if you want to know more about me ask me as there are so many different views on what these tag means that we would probably be having different views anyway.

Pony Play Day

For those who have delved the depths of my blog previously you'll know that I have quite a kink for pony play. I actually like a range of pet play however the equine version of this often seems the easiest to partake. I am unsure about what it is specifically that I enjoy about this form of play but certainly the dehumanizing aspect of being talked down to and controlled coupled with cute outfits and the occasional incorporation of elements of bondage tick a lot of my boxes

The site is a wonderful eighteenth century barn that has been lovingly converted into a delightfully deviant den. Dark beams straddle the antique ceiling and provide alcoves and support for all manner of devices and toys. This pony play event was very different to the last one I had attended as it was held in a small grassed area at the back of the barn as opposed to a covered factory space like that previous event. (see older blogs

I had developed an outfit for the event and I promise I will try and get a photo as soon as I am able (I am conscious that there is a lack of visuals in my most recent posts and will work to address this). An admirer had kindly bought me a pvc mini dress recently and considering I had lost some weight while I was away I decided I would risk something skin tight for once.

One of the problems of tight outfits however is that they do not leave much to imagination and as I am still technically male I lack the curves in the right places (and one or two bumps in the wrong). To redress this problem I slipped on a swimsuit underneath which not only helped with the tucking but also gave me more support in slipping a pair of false boobs (chicken fillets) into the top of my dress. Normally I avoid using these (especially as I find flat chested girls are hot) but I felt that their inclusion gave me a more acceptable female figure. I also added a pair of tights underneath all of that to aid in tucking a modesty and a some pvc boots that I had picked up for £20 from the Birmingham Bizarre Bazaar (BBB) the previous week.

Sadly there was not as many people as we all had hoped and I think a number of people had said they were going to come and then decided not to (most rude). However the people who were there more than made up for the lack of the others. As well as the couple who run their barn and their daughter there were two other ponies (one boy pony and one tv) an experienced pony training Mistress from somewhere in Yorkshire I believe, and a couple who had come all the way down from Scotland. The slave was a dogboy and I doubt there can be many more complete dog slaves anywhere in the world.

The Mistress from up north has a lot of pony training experience although sadly her own pony wasn't able to come as they're had been some issue at the last moment. This however did mean that I was very privileged to have her attention for much of the day. We spent some time in the back field doing dressage. I had a basic knowledge from previous pony play but with her help I was able to develop my techniques as well as learn a few new things. We practiced walking (walking with knees high) two kinds of trotting and also cross stepping which was new to me. I loved every moment. Pony’s are so pretty and I tried to be as graceful as I could

The idea had been to have a competition with different events and rosettes for the winners but due to the low turnout and the sweltering heat we never got that far. It was nice nonetheless to get in the pony mind set, a level which was aided by the presence of a bit in my mouth for period of play. I don't think I spoke again for the whole day until the Mistress sadly had to leave and I decided that it would be rude not to say goodbye and to thank her for her training and grooming.

At the end my friend debs (a.k.a cutie) turned up. She is a gorgeous puppy girl with the most amazing outfit. Sadly she was in regular mode today as she was working until later in the day but it was wonderful to see her for the first time since I got back to the UK. She was telling me however that she was going to be a demo bunny at one of the upcoming BBBs where the focus was going to be on pet play. I'll have to make sure I go to that one! I wonder if they needs and demo ponies