New Website

Hi all! I've been teaching myself a wee bit of web designs of late and now have my very own website! :D If you'd like to have a look it can be found at girlversion2.co.uk. Please let me know any thouhts and comments you have.

aimee

Modeling

Hello everyone, I guess I should apologise for not having updated here for a while. I've had a few people commenting that they've enjoyed my blog and asking me to update, and I know alot of people on various networking sites read this before or after contacting me to find out more about me. I don't wish this post to be an exhausting update of the last x-months so I'll tell you about the most significant thing thats happened in that time. ^^

As many of you may have noticed, I enjoy taking photo's very much, but what is even more fun is when other people take photos of me! I've been talking to a photogropher friend for a couple of years I guess who I met on one of the tg sites. He'd had a standing offer for me to visit for some time, but I've always been a little shy to go to peoples houses or what-not for a first meet, and unfortunatly he lived a little too far away for a day trip. However I managed to bump into him at Sparkle this year and found out that he was a lovely, genuine guy. So a month or so ago I decided to take him up on his offer to do a photo shoot.

I origonally intended to stay just the one night but ended up having so much fun that I stayed for three! Him and his gf were very hostpitable and made me feel very welcome. We managed to take a few hundred photos and try out several outfits during the four days. At the moment I'm out of the country for the next few months but I'm hoping that when I come back to the UK I can get more experience of modeling.

Pony Play

Probably my biggest kink, the thing that underlines all others, is the idea of being trained and conditioned by another person. I love the idea of being controlled and making people take pride in how well I have been trained. That being so, it is maybe not so surprising that I have always been fascinated by puppy and pony play.

Pony play is something I've always wanted to try since I was first came across some pics in my teens. However I never actually thought I would get the oppertunity. to try it for myself . It looksed so difficult to organise with all the complicated gear and relied on having a trainer or somone to play with. To me, puppy/kitty play seemed the most do-able for at least it was something you could do by yourself.

A few months ago I heard about a pony event happening in the North West and decided to go along. I was fortunate that I had swapped some emails with a Pony Trainer who was attending so I had somone to meet up with and take care of me. Also I went to the local munch a few days earlier and met somone who was going and who agreed to give me a lift so it made me less nervous about just turning up although I was still a bit worried that i might end up just standing around.

The event took place in a large disused factory that proved to be an excellent venue. A track with 3 lanes of maybe 40-50 metres stretched down the lenth of the hall with a circular track branching out on one side. In the centre of the ring was a pony walker, a wheel with four ropes coming around that ponies could be tied to an excercised. There was a very good turn out with several other pony girls around as well as trainers, and other people helping out and running the event.

After getting changed I went and met up with my trainer. A very nice man called Sir Guy. He helped fit me into a harness, placed and bit in my mouth and bound my arms behind me back before leading me to a sulkee. I sulkee is a low cart for a rider to sit in with two struts that came out that can either be held by the pony, or, as happened in my place, they could be tied to the ponies harness and pulled along that way.

I slipped quite quickly into pony mode, letting myself be guided and trained by Sir Guy. He took me around the hall and gradually i got used to being led around by the ropes pulling on my bit. We had a couple of experimental runs down the sprint lane to get warmed up before I was tied to the training wheel while Sir Guy delt with another pony girl. I was on the pony walker for...well I don't know how long, maybe thirty, fourty minutes left walking around. However I don't think I minded in the slightest, it was nice just to let go and be a pony and to follow any instructions given to me to change my speed or stop.

Before lunch Sir Guy hooked me and the other girl he was training up to a custom made chariot and we gave that a spin. I really enjoyed having a pony sister to work with. As we cantered around I made sure to time my hoof steps to hers and I was told that we looked very pretty racing around. :)

We had a bried break for lunch after that. It took me a few minutes again to be able to talk again, and I was very sad to leave pony mode. After lunch we had some competitions against the other ponies, sprinting, running a lap around the track, and doing a assault course. I was quite tired from the excertions in the morning and tried my hardest in the event and managed to get to rosets for finishing second in two of the events :)

Coming Out (a little more)

Well it's been too long since my last update so I'll just spend a little time bringing you up to date with how things are going currently. In the last month I've been getting increasingly comfortable with myself as transgender and as a subbie and even told my mum that I was TG!

It had been something I had been meaning to do for a while but it never seemed to be the right time to do it. I would by lying if I said that the opportunity had never presented itself before, it had, but it was always easier to crack a joke, or make an excuse and walk away then to come out with it.

Alot of my friends seem to have been coming out to their parents or otherwise moving on in life as tg and to be honest I was worried that I would get left behind. At times I felt like a bit of a fake, claiming I was tg without ever having the courage to do anything about it. One of my friends (who recently had her op herself) seemed to ask me if I'd come out to my mum at the start of every conversation. Maybe I told my mum just to get this girl off my case :)

It's all really the fault of mascara. I have quite light eye lashes, and so, even with extensive scrubbing it seems that the mascara stains my lashes if i put too much on. I'd come back a few times and tried to ignore/avoid my parents' questions as best as I could. Anyway I came back one day with someone on and my mum (eagle eyed as she is) noticed. I forget her exact words but it was something like "Is there something you want to tell me?"

I thought "What the hell?" and decided that it was better to tell her now. I think it was a bit of a curve ball really. If I'd told her I was gay I think she would have taken it in her stride, but when I told her I was tg she was like "so what does that mean?"

What does it mean? I don't really know to be honest and when I try to explain things like that I always end up tying myself in knots. I managed to muddle though some hope but I still don't think it's settled in for her. I showed her a picture of my dressed and she said I looked very pretty which was nice :)

Not really sure what to make of it at the moment. She asked a couple of questions over the next few days and interrogated my brother a bit after I told her he knew about it, but over the last couple of weeks she's not said very much. Still, better that she knows as it gives me a little more freedom hopefully and I feel that I'm not a closet cowering cross dresser.

Sub-Space

Well my hopes to bring my blog up to date in one quick stroke didn't seem to work so I'd better make as least one more (if not two more) posts before even more exciting things happen!

So after attending a big t-gurl event in February and the local Munch the week after I decided I wanted to go to BDSM event and see if I could explore things further. I'd heard a few people mention Club Lash, a fetish event that takes place once a month in Manchester.


I asked around if anyone for the local munch were thinking of going, a couple were and six very kindly offered to make a weekend of it and share a room with me. So on the Friday we hopped on a train and spent the afternoon doing one of my favorite things....shopping!

The theme for the even was Carnival and six decided that we were to have themed outfits. She would wear a black and purple ensamble and I would go for one in pink and black, which of course, matched perfectly with my collar :)

A number of hours later and beset by sore feet we made it made it back to our hotel room and have the luxury of a little over an hour to get ready before we met some others at a bar -supposedly- nearby.

Well here is my outfit more or less. I normally have to take a dozen photos before I get a good one and unfortunately we didn't have time to take that many. But at least you see that I'm not always the svelte seductress that I sometimes appear in my immaculately staged pictures.

Before going to the club we had to meet a few friends, and so, for the first time I ventured out dressed in public. Thankfully it was dark and considering the side of Manchester we were on no one seemed to look to closely at me. Anyway, I was more than happy to walk down the road although given my lack of heel-walking experience I wish the bar had been closer. Not to mention somewhat nicer....but anyway, this isn't a bar review and the important thing is that we made it to the club.

I always find it helps to not allow your expectations to get too carried away, and although the place was really nice and I had a great time it wasn't the nocturnal debauch fest that I might have been forgiven for expecting. There was a small bar area, a decent sized dance floor, a couple of corridors, and then of course the dungeon. All together it was more than enough to keep me entertained. *grins*

I also a knew a few other people who were going there, so I felt I knew enough people there that I wasn't standing in a corner by myself. Not that that would have ever happened with six with me of course. I was still quite shy though and so didn't really approach anyone that I didn't already know. Something to work on next time perhaps. One of the people who I knew there was Rachel who, if you've read some of my previous blogs you will know, I had played a bit with previously...more on that later though...

After having a few double voddies and coke my confidence appeared to creep up a little and when someone observed that it was a pity my collar did not have a leash I promptly pulled one out of my purse which I had been saving for such an occasion...

The next hour or two seemed to get a little blurred. With different people holding my leash I felt myself grow increasingly submissive and suggestible. I say it was down to the leash but perhaps the voddies and coke helped also. Then somehow I ended up being flogged for, what I'm told, was around an hour.

I remember little of it save someone taking me by my leash and leading me to a wall, sticking my ass out and moving it to the music. There was the repetitive feeling of a flogger hitting me although I don't think I was ever in any real pain, and the occasional intercession by six as she checked if I was alright.

I hope that Rachel enjoyed herself as much as I did. Everything seemed to evaporate into a blissful state that six calls "sub space". Apparently its quite a common experience for submissive's and certainly seems to be one of the perks of the position. The only worrying thing perhaps is that while I was in that state I think I would have allowed anyone to do almost anything to me. Very strange but not the less enjoyable.

Busy Times

Wow, well where to begin? I'm afraid it's been far too long since my last update and the speed with which things happen combined with ongoing job hunting means that I feel as if I'm playing catch up a bit.

In my last blog I was telling you about going out to Big Night Out which was still only my third time out dressed. If I told you that in the last month the amount of times I had dressed outside of the confines of my own home stood closer to seven (if fact so much and so blurred that I'm now going to stop counting) and even included attending a Chinese buffet in central Manchester, would you believe me?

I guess the big change has been having people who I can go to places with as very few tgurls I'm sure have the balls to go to many events alone. (and maximum respect to those who do) In the last month six has taken good care of me and my confidence has grown immensely and for that I will always be eternally indebted to her.

The week after BNO I decided I would try to make it to the local Munch. (For those who don't know and have not read my previous blogs a Munch is basically a place where people with a shared BDSM interest meet for drinks occasionally) With her encouragement I went dressed and feel this was defiantly the right decision. While it may have been easier and less risky to have gone in boi mode it would be difficult to shake that image of me from the minds of other simply by putting on a skirt and some make up. Taken as well with one of my long term goals being to be comfortable and confident going out dressed this encouragement was exactly what I needed.

There was a little scary moment when we arrive in the venue and ordered a drink at the bar. I wanted to shoot upstairs to the pre-booked function room as opposed to standing in at the bar regardless of how empty it was. I had specifically dressed in andro style clothes as I feel more comfortable thinking that people are double taking me and wondering if I'm a guy or a girl then have them look at me and think I'm just a guy in drag or something. One old guy at the bar kept staring at me and I steadfastly refused eye contact. I was sure that I had no chance of passing and that the girl behind the bar who smiled at me was mealy humoring me but perhaps not?

I guess when it comes down to it there are alot of ugly girls out there and even with my guy shoulders, awful make up, and stubble I'm still slightly more passable than some genetic girls out there. Well, I have to have something to cling to. six tells me though that all I need is confidence and she is right of course. If I hold myself and walk as if I don't care and am not out of place no one is hardly likely to confront me.

After ordering drinks we went upstairs where other people local to the area had come. Everyone was really nice and although I was nervous throughout I don't think I needed to be. It was a little hairy being the only t-gurl there. At other events I'd been to it was a reassuring thing that no matter how badly dressed I was there was always someone maybe more so. But here, at an event that had nothing to do with the t-gurl or the gay scene I was perhaps, from one point of view, a fish out of water.

None the less it was a wonderful experience and one that I would recommend to other t-gurls who read this. While going to tg clubs and events can be alot of fun I think most of us aspire to be able to do things with people who we share other interests with than solely an affection for pretty clothes. (not that that is not enough) I was certainly out of my comfort zone but then that's often the best place to be for an interesting life.

Hmm I think this will do for one post. I'm sorry that there's no pictures but I promise to make it up with the next one. It should be along very soon as it's already happened. I guess it just depends on how lazy I am.

Big Night Out

Wow, it's been such a busy week that I'm still trying to catch up with everything that's happened. In my last blog I shared my first BDSM experience which was a pretty big event, but that wasn't all that I've been involved with in the last ten days.

As I'm sure many people who'll read this already know, there is a big TG event once a month at a club just outside of Milton Keynes known as Big Night Out (BNO). For anyone wanting to get out and get dressed this is probably one of the easiest ways to do it. The hotel over the road from the club becomes a variable tranny colony with t-gurl (and t-bois) from a diverse spectrum.

I've been very fortunate of late to get to know some really cool people of late online and one of them, a girl called Lucy, had invited me to join her and a few others to all meet up at one of the forthcoming BNOs.

I came down on the train and met up with Lucy, her girlfriend Angarad, and another t-gurl called Faith who I hadn't spoken to before. The night was nearly ruined when I opened my suitcase. I'd ended up packing three or four times as I initially over packed and tried to take only what I knew I'd need. However....somewhere in the middle of the repacking I took out the skirt I had intended to wear! Fortunately Angharad had a spare skirt but with me not having her shapely hips I had to keep the skirt on by using a belt. The only one I had was white and black checked which didn't go with the black and white outfit I'd been planning...panic! Fortunately, in all my over packing I'd still brought a pair of my black and white stripey Japanese knee socks so thankfully I was able to salvage the outfit just about!

After getting ready, (Lucy did an awesome job on my eyes and I never got around to getting her to teach me how to do it sadly) drinking a couple of bottles of wine, and taking several pictures we were ready to stumble across the road to the club.

I'd been out dressed twice before, once in Tokyo with someone I'd met online but didn't know too well, and once in Sheffield, when I'd got so annoyed at wanting to go out and not doing it that I took the plunge and went to a similar trans-night myself. Both were worthwhile experiences, but not knowing the people I was with very well made it a little nerve wracking. This time was different as I got to know the person I was going down to meet reasonably well in the preceding weeks and felt like I was going down to hang out with a friend rather then just as an excuse to get dressed up.

I think this way of thinking made a big difference, as really the whole point of dressing (at least from my perspective) is to be yourself and not play the part of someone else. So actually going down to have a night out with people who I had things in common and would have been friends with if we didn't have the trans thing in common was probably a good way to have it. I'd really enjoyed talking with Lucy in the weeks running up to the BNO and had let her do most of the hard work booking rooms and trying to organise other people who were interested in going.

We hung out in the bar, chatting amongst ourselves mainly, although there were a few people who each of use knew there as well so we got to say hi to a few different people. I didn't really do much mingling to be honest as I was just happy to get to know the people we were with, although I did get chatting to a cool photographer and get my piccie taken *beams happily*.

Around half past two/ three we were all getting a bit tired. That time of the night is usually my limit anyway so I was more then happy to head back to the hotel room, although I did have a pang of sadness as I cleaned my make up off in the bathroom. Ah well....they'll be other times....

Cuffs and Collars, Chains and Cains

The cuffs felt soft and strangely reassuring around my ankles and wrists. I tensed experimentally against the bonds, feeling the restrains constraining the separation between each cuff to a matter of inches.

Standing vulnerable in the corner of an unfamiliar room I had time to consider my thoughts and feelings. The strangest sensation I had to come to terms with was how right and comfortable I currently felt.

I had spoken to the couple, a Master and a slave who lived locally, for a couple of weeks on the Internet and had met the slave for a coffee in person previously before arranging a meet. They had been very genuine at all times before and after my arrival at the house, and had made sure I had a safe call in place for security. Even having this as a a safety net, it still surprised me that I was so happy to be bound, constrained and vulnerable to another without any sense of fear or worry. Had they done a good job in assuaging my fears by being so genuine, or was I a touch naive?

I had arrived that afternoon, the slave had greeted me at the door and we chatted over a glass of red wine as I got ready, slipping into what is still my only cute outfit. After putting on my make up we moved to her front room until a knock on the door signalled her Master's arrival.

She went to greet her Master at the door and I loitered in the front room till the door slid open. It was the first time that I had met the Master in flesh, although we had chatted extensively online, he came in to the front room now and we spoke for a few minutes. It was an odd position to be in, dressed up as I was, a table full of cuffs and chains between us, making small talk over a cup of tea.

After a five minutes or so the Master turned to a bag which he'd brought with him and pulled out a cute pink collar with white polka dots. My eye's widened as I saw the pretty leather object and positively purred inside as he slit it around my neck, a matching leash dangling down. He then slide the cuffs around my wrists and ankles and, after checking that I'd made my safe call, attached my hands behind my back with a carrabina through the cuffs.

Tugging on the leash He brought my to my feet and then led me around the table on the leash. I loved the feeling of being led around like a pretty pet, especially after the Master cuffed my ankles together restricting my movement to a hobble. The experience made me glow happily inside. After asking me to kneel the Master picked up a camera and kindly took some pictures of me, some of which you can see on my blog. I only wish I'd fixed my hair better!

He also took me through to the bedroom where on the wall was a rack of different floggers, whips and other implements to which the Master gave me a guided tour. The Master went trough several of the objects, demonstrating the finer nuances of each on my arm or other parts of my body. The one that I enjoyed the most was what he referred to as a pizza cutter (although I was told since that that was just his joke and its real name was a "wartenberg wheel") This he used on my back and chest, the tiny teeth biting my soft flesh was strangely exhilarating and I found my eye closing and my breath shallowing as I let the sensation was over me.

Shorty after that I was getting better acquainted with some of the other items. The Master had me bending over a chair, my head down and my backside pointed up in the air as a riding crop explored my intimate areas. Then with a crack the crop came down and hit me. Six times, three on each cheek. I'm still trying to work out how I felt about the experience, did I enjoy the pain, or was it more a sense of wanting to be pleasing and take the punishment that excited me.

Time was getting on, and after having me bend over her knee and pointing out the location of the painsubs "sweet spot" by use of spanking, it was time for me to leave :( . The Master undid the restraints, the thought of undoing them myself even with my hands free seemed strangely foreign, and the slid the collar off from around my neck. I felt a sense of sadness knowing that the experience -for now- was over. The Master kindly handed my the collar and said that I could keep it if I wish. I was so happy as I looked down at the pretty pink object in my hand, noticing a small name tag in the shape of a heart I turned it over and read my own name written there. I nearly cried.

Getting the Munchies

Well it's been over a week since my last entry so I thought I'd write a quick not to let you all know how things are going. Things are still on for going to the BNO on the 13th, I've had to tell my folks it's a "friend's birthday" and hopefully that'll avoid too many questions. I hate lying to my folks but I'm also not ready to tell them that I'm heading down to Milton Keynes to dress up in girl's clothes and hang out with a bunch of trannies. I'm still hoping that a job will come up and I'll be able to move out so that the next time I decide to go out in MK or Mancs I won't need to say anything.

The other news is that I've been talking to a very nice local D/s couple recently and this week met the slave half in person for a coffee. She's involved with the local Munch and it seems that getting involved with something like that is the best way to explore BDSM. For those who don't know what a Munch is, its basically a bunch of people with an interest in BDSM getting together for a drink essentially. So is deffinatly the safest way to meet up with genuine people which should be cool. Hopefully I'd be able to go down and meet up with the munch crew in the next week or so and start moving forward with exploring BDSM, so yay! :D

I'm still playing with the idea of doing some modeling as well. Am talking to a few tog's at the moment but unfortunatly the ones who I seem to get on the best with are the other end of the country while the photogrophers who I have the most oppertunity to meet up with don't seem quite as easy to talk with. It's deffinatly something I'll hopefully do at some point but like the rest of my exploration, it's best not to rush into these things. Anyone, until I do here are some kinky pics that somone photo shopped for me, hehe. Hope you like!

Boobs, Bras and a Big Night Out?

I feel quite fortunate that, after several years out in the wilderness of the interweb, I seem to finally be finding the cool people. Last week I told you about going shopping with Jen and Chloe, two girls who I met in a chat room I often frequent for people of my disposition. Theres been a few others who I've chatted to and have decided that, considering there is no chance of moving out of my parents box room just yet, that I will take the bull my the horns and fabricate a night out for myself.

So come the second Friday of next month, a week or so after I turn 24 for the second (or is it third?) time I shall be going down south for a "friends birthday" (for "friends birthday" please read "tranny night out") and meeting up with allot of cool people, getting dressed up pretty, and hopefully not embarrassing myself too badly. (my friend Lucy has promised not too let me drink too much wine).

I am *very* excited and really can't wait. Not just so that I can dress how i like in public, but so that I can get to know better some people who I've had good chats with on the net. I've got my outfit picked out now. The theme is 'red' which was the clincher really on my outfit (my wardrobe is so limited there isn't that much red in it really) so I'm going to wear my corset with my lil tartan skirt and some fishnets thrown in. I bought some shoes in mancs last week so hopefully those will do. They're a little too big but i hear you can fix that problem by inserting some gel pads or something.

Speaking of insertions (no not that kind) I've been test driving my new boobs this week too. I still feel D cup is potentially too big for me (and certainly too big for my bras) but it goes ok when i wear a t-shirt or other high necked top. I might take them for fun but I don't think they'll work with my corset.

I also bought another couple of essentials for the Big Night Out, a new set of panties and bra as my previous set looked like I'd stolen them from a tiny Japanese manga girl (i actually did buy them in Osaka so maybe that's not really surprising). They're very sexy and I might put up a pic for you readers if I can find one that isn't too raunchy. And also I bought a shrug, I've got no pics of that as yet, but it goes really well with my corset and means by boi shoulders draw slightly less attention.

Anyway, I'll put some pics up with this blog of the outfit, as well as some of the recent pics. Hope you like!

Piper
xxxx

Shopping Spree!

I spent so much time moaning about how my difficult personal situation makes it tricky to get out en-femme that's it's started to annoy even myself. It seems to be a major skill in the trans spectrum to find excuses as to why we can't do the things we want and so it's hardly surprising that this has led to a reputation of time wasting fantasists in the eyes of others. The Internet is proliferated by people who claim it's their heats desire to explore femininity or bdsm but get cold feet at the first opportunity. I am determined not to be one of those people.

It was partly for this reason that I was very excited to meet up with two girls from chix the other day for some shopping in mancs. For me it was an easy (although not without natural reservations) first step. I'd talked to both girls online for a while and felt like I knew them before hand, we met during the day in a public place and lastly we were all in boi mode. Being trans dressing is important but not as important as other people knowing who you are. I write this really because I want to encourage people who feel they are trans to try and do something about it. I felt for the longest time that my trans tendencies were some kind of secret perversion like looking at porn and masturbating that should not be shared with others. I wish it hadn't taken me till about the age of 23 to find that this wasn't so.

When I came out to my brother it seemed like that was the point where I felt I could be tg, he was the first person I came out to who really knew me. Sure, you may have lots of online friends who know the girl you, but until you meet in the flesh they only know one side of you. So in an effort to explore my femininity i went, dressed as a boy, to meet two other guys in a town an hour or so away.

Jenni and Chloe were wonderful genuine people, but then I knew that before I met them. There's a lot of nutters on the net but you can take your time to find people who you would be friends with even if you didn't share trans-tendencies. This was defiantly how I felt hanging out with them. We wondered around various clothes shops and I even managed to buy a few things I needed (some heels as the ones i use currently are kinda 'borrowed' and some girl trousers.) and basically just hung out.

I felt I got alot from the day just from *being* with other people. Maybe I've just been sitting around on my arse all day for too long. It reminded me a little of how things had been in Japan when I'd come out to all my closest friends there. I think for many people we *are* somehow ashamed of being trans and so put up a wall between us and others. How can you truly be close to someone with a barricade between part of you and them?

So this entry is in part a thank you for Jenni and Chloe for a great day out, proof that I'm not a lazy fantasist who isn't prepared to even take the tiniest of steps towards self exploration, and an encouragement to anyone who happens to read this. You have nothing to be ashamed of. People might react in different ways when you tell them you're trans, and I urge you to use caution and await the right time, but there are people out there who get you, people who you would be friends with regardless of you desires to dress or whatever, find these people and find yourself.

The Rest of the Story

Ok, so I felt a bit of a tease the other day by starting to tell you all about my visit to see Rachel. But I did feel that the blog was getting a bit long and I like to keep these posts short and pithy so as not to bore you all to death. So where did I get up to...

I'd managed to navigate myself past the hazardous school kids, slipped on my wig and found my way to Rachel's door. To be honest I hadn't given too much thought to this moment over the last 24 hours. I think part of the reason I suggested meeting up with such short notice is that I knew if we planned to meet the next week or later that we both might have second thoughts or something else might have come up. This way I had no chance to back out as I knocked on the door.

I'd spoken to Rachel on the phone and seen her on web cam before we met and both helped to make me feel reassured. When she opened the door I knew I'd made the right choice to meet. Rachel was older then me but she had a very sexy and classy look and defiantly knew how to put an outfit together. She invited me in, and being a good English host, offered me a cup of tea.

We sat in her front room and chatted for a while. I was still in my andro outfit -boi jean and jacket with a girl tee and bra on under- and so soon switched to my new dress. It was the first chance I'd gotten to wear it properly. I've put a picture up so that you can see. It's a very pretty classy dress i think although a little figure hugging. That's fine of course if you have a nice figure but mine needs a little bit of work.

I did feel a little over dressed and so I changed into something a little more natural, my girl tee with a blue denim skirt. I looked similar to how I looked in this picture. Unfortunately I didn't have room to take my camera in my bag and I felt it would have been a little rude to have asked Rachel to take some pictures of me, so all pics here were taken after the event.

Before we met I had told Rachel a bit about my sub side and she had admitted to having a Domme side. So after chatting for a little while she suggested that maybe we could play for a little bit. My heart nearly skipped a beat as although I have long dreamed of participating in some D/s play I had never had the opportunity to try anything in real life.

Rachel took me through to her back room and instructed me to kneel down facing the corner. This I did while she disappeared out of the room. The sensation of kneeling felt good to me and I enjoyed holding a submissive position with my hands on the back of my head. After a few minutes Rachel returned, but now with her legs clad in a pair of black knee high boots.

Before we began Rachel had asked what kind of fantasies I had and I had confessed having a puppy girl fantasy. It was in this direction that she now guided me. She forbade me from making eye contact and instructed me to speak only when permitted. These restrictions made me feel even more submissive and at her whim. Not being able to look up at someone but to stare at a fixed spot on the floor made me feel very isolated and on the edge.

Miss Rachel, as I began to think of her, instructed me how to kneeling pleasingly with my hands forward like a puppy and had me crawl across the floor. She instructed me to come to heel and punished me if I was not quick enough or pleasing enough. She spanked me as punishment and although I'd never really thought of being spanked as being a turn on I really enjoyed it as i felt i was being disciplined and trained to be more pleasing and obedient.

She also had me kiss and lick her boots...I feel a bit shy about going into detail here but the whole point of this blog is to talk about my exploration of my femininity and submission so it would be unfair not to go into details. At the same time though I don't want to descend into anything too smutty...just yet...

I leaned down to kiss the toes of her boots and found at once that my hair fell down in the way. Miss Rachel told me to lick her boots and so I did, forced as I was to hold my hair back as I busied myself. I thought I might have felt shame or something doing this but I just felt so happy to obey and I wanted to please Miss Rachel. She instructed me to lick higher and clean all of the boot. The leather felt good under my tongue. Miss Rachel told me that she wanted to feel my tongue through the leather and so I licked harder, forcing my tongue against the leather as I licked up and down.

We finished shortly after that and returned to the front room. Miss Rachel told me just to call her Rachel again and we were back to how things had been before. We talked a little while longer and then I had to leave. I was sad to go and wish we had had longer to play. All in all it was only about 20 mins, but when your a subbie you can't really ask to go on longer then the Domme wishes. I for one loved the experience of D/s play and can't wait to do it again in the future. I hope Miss Rachel enjoyed it also and that we can meet up again soon. Even if it's just for another chat I'll be happy. It felt right to be myself and talk naturally without hiding my "dark secret".

The Trans Commandment

A satirical (sa.tir-ik-ul: of, pertaining to, or connected with satire) look at some tranny rules of living. ***disclaimer: no offence intended***

here n findsome home truths about becoming a Transsexual, if you can think of any additions pleae do tell me , it is vital for the well fair of your femenin friends

• Never take medicine from a Doctor, they're secretly part of an illuminate conspiracy to make us obedient vegetables (like carrots and broccoli, but not like tomatoes who, as well all know, are devious little motherfuckers). Instead get meds *only* from supplies you can trust who sell them for $1.99 on the Internet.

• Never go down to the benefit office dressed in a pink leotard and 5" gold sandles. You may think you look "hawt" but you might get some funny looks. There are some benefits you can get from that outfit however, such as free drinks from any number of sleazy gay clubs. Try them all to find the best deal!

• Smoke as much as you can as a girl, its great for you figure and is an essential part of your training if your hoping to partake in the World Wide Lesbian Conspiracy (WoWiLezCo). Spend all you money on 'brainwashing' CD's, you know you have too much money and those clever people who have found inventive ways of relieving you of your cash deserve a nice holiday.
  

• Look after your hair, it's not like us t-girl could get away with wearing wigs.

• Wear sunscreen.

• Shave your forehead to encourage hair to grow there, that way no one will notice the stubble on your upper lip and just think that you have some rare condition like hairyitus.

• Never start a land war in Asia.

• Don't lean on things, you might fall over.

• Don't have so much soya it is high in Urinates, and don't drink water, its high in Poonates. Stick with diet cock, ooops sorry, typo diet *coke*. If it's got 'diet' written on it it must be good for you right?

• Drink only bottled diet cock, the canned stuff has been tampered with by the Catholics/ Free Masons/ Illuminate/ WoWiLezCo and think that people who wear skirts are a threat to their plan for global domination/ summer holidays.

• If you start to get stalked by wierd people who speak liek they know you run off to the Pictern Island and don't come back. Do this especially if those wierd people look like your parents, friends, or relitives as it means that the Illuminate has got to them already! In fact, do that anyway, no one lieks you anyway.
  

• Until you have fully transitioned don't go into the female loos. Don't go in the male loos either tho as they may think your gay and beet you up. Instead do a piddle on the midway point between the two then no one can complain. If you need a number too go to the bar and ask if you can borrow a bucket.

• Beware of Gender Therapists (The Rapists!) they work for the Illuminate et. al. and don't really care about helping you. Order all your meds online and then once the arrive stockpile tins of beans to last you 2 years in a wardrobe then hide in they're chrysalis like until you are fully femme (or at least have a nice pair of boobies)

• Don't socialise too much. Your a freak and nobody likes you.

• Burn your lap top after reading this at once as a secret Illuminate Internet spyware that is on all pc's with cause it to explode in the next three seconds.

.
.
.
one
.
.
.
two
.
.
.
three
.
.
.
BOOM!
I'm going to the special Hell, the one reserved for child molesters, people who talk at the theatre and people who rip the piss out of paranoid trannies.

(the management would like to thank Jezzka and Jenni for their help with this piece and for Ultra for being the inspiration. They would also like to say that this is a work of fiction and any resemblance to people living or dead, or articles that may look similar, is purely coincidental.)

New Year, New Dress, New Friend

So you know how I've been banging out about "wanting to get out and explore my femininity and submissive side" and all that crap without actually doing anything about it? Yeah, thought you might have picked up on some of that. Well today I actually did something about it.

It's not that I haven't been trying to be proactive, I've met some awesome girls of late online and have been trying to plan some form of meet/night out as well as having talked to some really genuine Dom/mes who I'd love to visit for the weekend. But it always comes back to the same problem, what do I say to my parents without giving them a bare faced lie? If only there was someone in my home town who I could hang out and dress with who maybe had their own interest in exploring their Domme side. If only...

I got talking to Rachel through a mutual friend who when I mentioned where I lived asked me if I knew Rachel. She hooked us up on yahoo and we really hit it off. Rachel was very easy to talk to, she dressed with class, and in addition to that she had a bit of a Domme streak she was wanting to explore. She had a web cam and a genuine attitude and I quickly felt very comfortable talking with her. We got talking saying that we should meet some time maybe. Then I had to say something stupid.

I suggested that we met up the very next day. Great. Finally I find someone local who seems normal and not some scary and random caricature and I go and chase her off by suggesting to meet like some over zealous puppy. But to my great surprise and pleasure she said that would be fine. I guess somewhere I was thinking that if I tried to over anylise the situation there was a chance of planning something in the future and then other things coming up. By doing something so soon it left little time to worry about anything.

We arranged to meet the next day after lunch which meant that I could get out and be back home without having to explain my whereabouts to my parents which was really convenient. We chatted on the phone in the morning and Rachel sounded very nice serving to reassure me further about meeting. However she did ask that I came dressed. I think its easier for people that way as seeing someone in boi mode can really break the girl illusion. I'd been playng with the idea of getting a bit of an andro look and so didn't feel too nervous about popping on a bit of make up, some girlyboi clothes and packing a bag of other clothes including a new dress I'd bought that had arrived the previous day. This is it in the pictures btw? I love how versatile it is. I've only got half the styles figures out but I'm sure they'll be plenty of time. Sorry that theres no pics of me up in it yet I promise to take some for the next blog. But heres another one of me as a bit of a page filler :p

Anyway, I cycled across town and left my bike by the river. I didn't know if there would be anywhere to park outside Rachel's house so for some crazy reason I decided to walk the last 200 metres or so. I was wearing sun glasses so no one would be able to see my eye shadow or mascara but the bra I was wearing might have made me stand out a little bit.....I had no idea it would be so busy! I kept my eyed down and flushed red every time i was forced to walk past anyone. At one point I saw some young guys approaching, about 19 or 20 and had to take a quick detour out of the way as if anyone was going to say anything about a boy walking down the road in a padded bra they would!

Things didn't get much better from there. I followed Rachel's directions but found out that she lived right next to a high school....and it was lunch time! So all the kids were milling around the street! I was petrified someone might say something. Finally i found a quiet back ally, put my wig on, and I was ready to knock on the door. Hmmm....I think the second part can wait for the next post. =D see you soon!

Resolution

First let me say Happy New Year! to all who read this. I now have 5 readers and I'm up to well over 3000 hits now which is very flattering. So thank you for reading this and taking an interest in my boring-ass life.

So 2009, a make or break year for me maybe. If in twelve months time I'm able to be in a position where I am independent, living in a place where I can come and go as I please without the need for a convincing cover story, and have the freedom to dress where and when I please then I am sure the year will be an unqualified sucess. If, however on the other hand, my situation is little different for how it is now, well, lets hope it does not come to that or else the year might feel to have been a waste.

My plan for the coming year then is as follows:

• Get a job, preferable one that is in a different town or at least pays enough that I can
• Get my own place. The chances of actually having a place to myself is perhaps limited, especially if i do move down to London, but providing I'm out of my parents hair I hope to be able to
• Get out more. It's important for me not to be cooped up in a closet at home, and actually as we speak I'm talking to some people about a possible night out in mancs in the coming month. The more I get out the more I can explore my femininity and perhaps meet people from the BDSM scene also so that I may possible
• Get Owned. This is not so important as getting out, but my interest in BDSM is something I would also like to explore so it would be nice to get the chance for that as well.

Thrown in the middle of all that is the standard "loose weight" which also might be easier once I move out as then I'll have more control over what I eat. I've been going for jogs lately and have tried to drink less beer (and more girly drinks, malabu coke is my current favorite) so I hope that I'll get more trim if i keep it up.

Oh yes, and in other news I ordered some clothes online so hopefully they'll come soon. I'll write more about that in my next post, and also about my shopping trip to boots to buy some "essentials" but those mis-adventured can wait a little while i think.